Fudgsicles. Why not?

Am I one of the only people who has a near-obsessive love for chocolate popsicles? (That was not supposed to be sexual, although some of you, you know who you are, love the other type of chocolate popsicles... and by that, I mean dick.)

Anyhoo, I think that the various tasty types of chocolate popsicle (Pudding Pops, Fudgsicles, Carby-County kinds...) in their various flavors (Vanilla, Chocolate, Vanilla-Chocolate swirl), are either unacknowledged by, and the secret shame of a grand swath of the U.S. population, or are sadly under-purchased.

Low in calories (I think the sugar-free ones are best!) and time-consuming to eat, with a shocking temperature, and a morphing mouth-feel, throw in the cocoa-y sweetness of aspartame, and these are possible contenders for the answer to "What was mana from Heaven like?"

And yet, despite the Fudgsicle's many virtues, when was the last time you opened someone's freezer to pull out a bottle of booze or ice (Booze?! BOOZE, SWEETIE!? Is that what they're CALLING it nowadays?! BOOZE, is it?! Are you going to pop down to the Uni-bar after class for a half-pint of SHANDY BOOZE?!) and thought "Hey, there's a box of Fudgsicles?" Sadly, with the company I keep, the only things I notice in the freezer are chicken breasts, Birds-Eye Flavor green beans, and Vodka. What about the popsicles? WHY ARE WE NOT BUYING FUDGE-FLAVORED ICE CREAM STICKS?!

Think about it.