I'm a little slow today. I just switched to Sanka. So...have a heart?

Friday, February 08, 2008

I've been Nominamated!

I'm a creature of habit.

Every day, after work, on the days when I don't otherwise have plans after work, I like to come home, stare despondently into my fridge, and decide, "Screw cooking, I'm just going to eat mixed nuts out of the CostCo jug, while standing at my kitchen counter, staring off into space, wondering when I can start drinking by myself, and it won't be wildly inappropriate."

Then, I do that.

Then I watch some TV.

Then, sometimes I take a walk. Or ride my bike.

Then, I come home, and drink. By myself.

Then Ironing, Family Guy, and Bed.

Wake up, think, "FUCK. Hangover. Why do I do this to myself?! I should call in sick. No, I can't. I have that thing. FUCK."

Then I go to work, and my angel of a secretary brings me two Tylenol and a cup of coffee and quickly backs out of my office, bowing, before she pisses me off and I wing my coffee at her.

I kid, I kid. Not all of that happens... but it's up to YOU, gentle reader, to discern where the falsities begin!

Grind away until I can go home, Lather, Rinse, Repeat.

I have a certain thing I like to do on Sunday nights. NO, I'm not going to tell you what it is, because I don't want you STALKING ME, (hah. Like anyone reads this blog anymore. I'm as irrelevant as... Who's that guy? The arrested Senator one from Texas that used to be in Politics... Not Trent Lott... Flagpin Mugshot? Whatever his name is... See how irrelevant he became!? I'm that Irrelevant.) so NO, I'm not going to tell you what I do on Sunday nights. But I'll give you a hint: it involves drinking and sporadically yelling things.

Oh, you guessed it! It's the Lapsed Alcoholics Anonymous Tourette's Anonymous Association Chapter meeting! Or LAATAAC, as we call it. We have a secret handshake. We couldn't have a secret password, because there's really no telling WHAT we'll be yelling when we walk up to the door... I've said too much.

Anyway...

At this "thing" I do on Sundays, I'm somewhat of a regular. Today I got a call from someone who works at LAATAAC, telling me that Plum TV wants to do a special on that...place... featuring various activities at... that place... and that he wanted me to be featured on it!

Me!

On TV!

Oh, my mind is already spinning with what I'll likely do to make an ass out of myself... not least of my worries is the fact that since my secretary had the gall to get pregnant five months ago, I've taken it upon myself to gain 25 pounds in sympathy weight... and the camera ALWAYS, but ALWAYS adds pounds to me...

But how exciting, no!? Lil' ole Me! On some sort of Television!

--- I'm going to Tuscan Steak for Dinner. Will finish this Entry later... ---

Okay. I'm back, and soooo full. But I had a good time.

Abrupt change of subject. For the second time this week, someone that I've vaguely recognized as a South Beach personality has approached me at a social event, and said, "I totally know you."

WhaaaaaaaAAAAAA?

(Meanwhile, I have NO recollection of this person, and wouldn't know them if they FELL on me.)

Ugh. It's a curse being as adorable and recognizable as me.

A curse...

but it gets me on TV.

Right?

Right.

1 Comments:

Blogger brazilian girls said...

i think the trick is to screw the cameraman prior. and vertical stripes. cause that's also slimming on camera. bravo to your debut!

1:38 AM

 

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