I'm a little slow today. I just switched to Sanka. So...have a heart?

Saturday, May 30, 2009

We Want the Flunk.

The 70s seemed like they were a great time. I'm sorry I missed them...completely. In fact, there's only a very small chance I was even CONCEIVED in the 70s - so, yeah, I wasn't around for them. Which is sad. A freewheeling decade of drugs and sex and hotpants and disco sounds okay to me.

So, last night, when Liza dragged asked me if I wanted to go see George Clinton perform at the Florida Room, I was coerced into going readily agreed. Of course, George Clinton is of Parliament and Funkadelic from the 70s.

Here is my review: I saw George Clinton. He looked like a crazy, crackhead, homeless guy, sweating through his t-shirt, emphatically croaking into a microphone, monotonically. And I have never seen so many young, rich white people go positively cuckoo-bananas. I pretended (badly) that I was going apeshit also, but...I just couldn't get into it. He opened with his hit, "We Want the Funk!" and then he segued into "Sh*t! Goddamn! Get off your ass and jam!" and after that, I'm not really sure what he was singing. Or doing. He was a spectacle - from his sad tennis shoes and khakis, all the way up to his bushy, grey beard, and the red weave up-do in his dreadlocks that made him sort of look like a combination of Tina Turner, Bob Marley and Sitting Bull in a headdress. I can also report that if you're within a foot-and-a-half radius of him, he doesn't smell - even though he looks like he should.

It was sort of amazing being in sweating distance of a musical legend - and I did have a good time...but it was surreal. And George Clinton should probably leave his 70s repertoire alone, so that we can all remember what "We Want the Funk" sounded like, as sung from a voice not fried by crack.

Oh, one more nugget: before George started singing, he drew graffiti all over a canvas behind him, and then rubbed mustard on it. After the show Liza wanted the canvas. We asked around, and finally found a guy from the Florida Room who could quote the price - she asked how much the canvas was, and he said, "fifty," at which she and I said "Fifty bucks? Deal!"

And then the guy said, "No, $50,000.00 - the canvas alone costs $50.00," at which point we burst out laughing in the guy's face. Seriously? 50K? We watched it get scrawled on. In 10 minutes. There was mustard on it - a lot of mustard. And we're in the middle of a recession.

Get real.

So, I've seen George Clinton perform, which may or may not be a big deal. And I can say that if he opened his eyes during his performance (I'm not sure he did...) that George Clinton looked squarely at me, and sang to me.

Weekend begun.


Blogger Rootietoot said...

The '70's were not so great, if you were uncoordinated and couldn't dance, roller disco, or wing your hair. Nor were they great if you didn't have the money for Gloria Vanderbilt or Jordache jeans (or the utter lack of ass it took to wear them successfully). I'm really liking the late '00's much better.

The '70's were also the time when Sensitive Men were in, and I don't like Sensitive Men. I like hairy brutes, always have.

I guess it's perspective, eh?

6:58 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

...and you are???

p.s. - if you wasn't gon' git it on, shoulda kept yo dead ass home.

8:19 PM

Blogger funkmeonce said...

Think you need a lesson in Funk 101 because you do not know the meaning of Funk.
Like someone else commented you should have left your dead ass home.

6:39 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

that's a sorry ass review....since you don't know jack about the FUNK, maybe you should have waited and went and reviewed Soulja Boy or something.....Terrible review...why fake the funk?

9:29 AM

Blogger SuperBee said...

Thanks for the hate, kids!

My ass appears to be alive and well... but in the event that it does die, I'll be sure to leave it at home - or with the appropriate facilities for burial. The last thing anyone wants is necrotic material at the Florida Room!

9:38 AM

Blogger funkmeonce said...

That's your opinion. You said in your review that the young white rich kids were loving it.
If it was so bad then why did the person with you (Lisa) want to buy the canvas for $50 which was a joke. That shows you don't have any idea about George's art.
I don't think you know jack about George Clinton or P Funk. Just write some reviews on the Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus they seem to be more your type.
Have a good day

10:01 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

super's got a little bit of b*tch in him.

11:06 AM

Blogger Rootietoot said...

eh...you like what you like.

4:07 PM

Anonymous squathole said...

Personally, I hated about every minute of the 70s. What I remember, anyway. I especially hated the music, mostly. The 70s were too much like the 50s, with stronger drugs and even worse clothes, except for the jordache jeans, Rootietoot, which I still wear, having lost my ass in the market like everyone else.

11:07 AM

Blogger L.E said...

Your review sucked donkeycock. The worst review EVER. Give the man credit for the vast amount of work that's done throughout the years. He has made many people rich with his musical gift....plus he's in his 70's. Give him a f**king break. Let's see you do what he's done over the years...the music output, and the sheer fortitude to even be up there on the stage doing it to you in your earhole. Do us all a favor and keep your pathetic unfunky ass comments to yourself. He is a musical legend, and you should consider yourself fortunate to have been in the presence of greatness.

Something tells me your an asshole in the purest sense of the word....yeah, "WHO ARE YOU...?"

Funk you Sir Nose!!!!!

8:09 AM

Blogger Laura said...

Anyone who misuses "your/you're" is not to be trusted...

Just wanted to post some love in the sea of hate. I love you, Superbee!

P.S. - Oh yeah, your review sucked. How dare you express an opinion on your website set up to express your opinion.

8:07 PM


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