I'm a little slow today. I just switched to Sanka. So...have a heart?

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Keys to the Kingdom

While the rest of my office enjoys hour-long coffee breaks and rolling in whenever they please, I have just had 10 years taken off of my life.

I've been left with the Keys to the Kingdom.

My boss is on vacation, and I'm the only attorney. That means, in addition to working on all the tasks I've been assigned, the largest of which is a cryptic and daunting task involving "Research Issues Presented in Motions to Dismiss" (not ours) (also, each is like 12 pages long full of rules and cases I've never heard of) and it's co-task of "Prepare Memorandum to be filed in Court, see research in file," I have to handle the rest of the day-to-day activitites of the office.

I'm freaking out... not because I don't think I'm capable of doing this, per se, I'm a lawyer almost a year now, so... things are starting to click, but more because I... don't want to. Is that so wrong? I don't feel like doing all that work. I've read our Counterclaim that the other side wants to dismiss...and truthfully... I agree with the other side. The previous lawyer that wrote the thing... didn't do a very good job.

Meh. I also have to do a lot of "negotiating" with opposing counsel. That always scares the bejesus out of me, because it's so obvious I have no idea what I'm talking about, and I feel like older lawyers love to toy with the new kid.

Oh, and I hate opposing counsel. I'm a nice opposing counsel. I'm friendly and upbeat, and cheerful, and not impatient. I mean, I have no reason to be, AND, you get more flies with honey than vinegar. But I know I'm going to have to deal with this one basketcase of a Ft. Lauderdale lawyer, who, in my humble opinion is 1) a bitch and 2) incompetent, and 3) wore a dusty, yellowing drop-waist dress, akin to a sailor suit to my Motion to Dismiss her Complaint (that I won) which coined her the nickname "Dusty Lampshade" and made me hate her for eternity...well, that was a combination of the dress, and the fact that she then moved for contempt against my firm saying we were acting unethically - another motion of hers that was dismissed, and yet... I was the one who got yelled at by the Judge...

Bitch, if there was anything unethical in that room, it was you, representing your client in that godawful dress.

But I digress -- I'm taking a little breather before launching into this five-inch thick file. I think I'm going to re-read the file, and then closely examine the motions against us, starting my research there. Although, I really don't see what the rush is all about. Nothing has happened in this case since like February '05... except for an unsuccessful appeal by us about...some...non-issue.

Okay. Off to work for me. Wish me luck. I'm now like a solo practitioner with a full staff. That's nuts!


Blogger Mike said...

This is why "Office Space" is such a classic. Ron Livingston absolutely nailed that feeling in the movie. When asked what he wants to do with his life, he truthfully answers "nothing." He's absolutely right. There are many days where I just wish I could do absolutely nothing and never get bored of it. I just want to enjoy the benefits of an industrious society without actually putting in the effort to contribute to it. Is that selfish?

8:53 AM


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