Cool it.

So remember a while back how I wrote about being a pioneer because my electricity got cut off because at the time I was too poor to pay my bill, and how I had to suffer through a night of sweaty sleeplessness? And remember how that was only temporary and I could see the light at the end of my sweaty tunnel, knowing that my power would only be off for 24 hours?

Remember that?

This morning, I awoke feeling... sticky.

And it wasn't just because I knew they were replacing my beloved opaque front door with a stupid windowed door (after I just shelled out $3K for blackout shades for my entire apartment) and would be coming home to a house covered in plaster and cement dust...

The thermometer read 78, and my a/c was blowing tepid air. Which is not a good sign as the weather truly heats up. I know there are some people in Florida who love the heat and the humidity, but I am, unfortunately, not one of them. I sweat. A lot. Even when it's cold.

So, I bucked up, took a cold shower, and went to work, soliciting a/c contractors. One agreed to come out to my place at 4:30 today, and pronounced my compressor shot.

Fuck.

My options:

$900.00 for a new compressor.

$1,300.00 for a new evaporator.

$2,300.00 for a whole new system.

Granted, my a/c unit is probably older than me, and it's probably full of delicious black mold, but, by and large, with one exception, it has been my constant friend lo these past four years, even though in the last two years it's taken to freezing over often periodically.

But the important thing is that my a/c unit WORKED. Until it didn't. And now I am MISERABLE. And sweaty.

And have a quote for $2,500.00 to install it "with permits" (I have a nasty neighbor in the building who would totally call the City on my ass if I installed the a/c unit "Miami-Style").

But suspicions were raised as to my choice of contractor from another one of my neighbors, and instead of signing on the dotted line today for a new a/c unit hopefully by Monday, I am now seeing another contractor tomorrow, who, hopefully, will give me a part and bless my a/c unit as good as new. Or who will impress me by rolling out a "Trane" or a "Carrier" unit instead of a "ComfortStar" and will charge me the low, low price of under $2,500.00 to get the thing installed by Saturday. Because I'm pretty sure that's how long I'll last without hurling myself off my balcony to sweaty suicide in the stinking canal below my apartment.

So, your pity and your prayers are appreciated and solicited. I will be tossing and turning on top of gritty (cement dust covered) blankets, and again cursing the Gods that told me that Home Ownership is the American Dream.

My ass.

I guess the moral of the story is, "Kids, never buy anything. If you don't own anything, there's nothing to break and have to replace -- and get the hell out of South Florida if you can't take the Climate."

(Exit Date estimated in 2013).

The word of the SuperBee.