I'm a little slow today. I just switched to Sanka. So...have a heart?

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Move, B*tch, Get out 'da way.

Do you ever have those days where it feels like every one else on the road is driving particularly badly? I know, I know, "We live in South Florida, that's every day," heh-heh-heh. (Groan).

But I've lived here long enough to be just as bad a driver as everyone else, so I'm now used to a certain consistent level of bad driving. Still, every now and then I have a day when people are particularly terrible.

Tonight was one of those nights. More than one person was driving on full-out the WRONG side of the road. Some idiot waited almost honkingly-long to accelerate at the corner of 17th and Alton, and then pulled into the far left lane, only to decide once she got on Alton north, she needed to be in the far right lane. I didn't let her in, obvs., because I was pissed at her for waiting long enough to go on green, that someone in oncoming traffic was able to pull a right on red. (For some reason that incenses me.)

As I was coming over the Tuttle, about to hit the mainland, an Explorer who had been fishing, I guess... or was a sexual predator, pulled from a dead stop on the shoulder into the right lane, in front of me... That was pretty awesome.

This same Moran then made a right turn from the left lane at Biscayne. On red. Cutting across three lanes of traffic.

It was like that the entire way from my place to Midtown (where I changed my mind about Sakaya, after having a pretty decent meal there) and from Midtown to back.

What causes this? One bad driver - whatever. But I encountered SIX people who did bad-driving things on the way to Midtown alone -- to say nothing of the drive back, like the schmuck that pulled an illegal U-turn in front of me while I was oncoming...

I don't think it's a full moon.

Maybe everyone's just still hungover from Memorial Day. But the fact that I was some sort of bad-driver magnet today was exacerbated by the fact that I realized that I didn't have my license in my wallet as I began my treacherous journey home.

I made it intact.

And I found my license.


Blogger Rick said...

I tell people that I have 3 or 4 near-death experiences on my daily commute to Doral from Broward and back.

But I'm not kidding.

I figure moving to Colorado or anyplace where the average IQ is over 50 will extend my life expectancy tenfold.


7:42 PM

Blogger SuperBee said...

That doesn't surprise me. I don't miss driving out to Doral. My new commute to Brickell is far more enjoyable than my commute out to the corner of NW 36th Street and 87th.

But the effing traffic circle on South Miami Ave... Brutal.

In Colorado you'll just have to remember how to drive on snow... and ice. I don't miss that -- not one bit. But all in all I'd take Colorado drivers with ice any day over what we have here.

8:00 PM

Blogger Rootietoot said...

and that's why I stick to towns of less than 30,000. Bad drivers only really happen on Friday nights in the Fall, after high school football games. Or during planting/harvesting, when the roads are cluttered with tractors and combines. There isn't much you can do about a combine, except wait for it to turn off the road.

6:14 AM


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