Once again, Dave Liberman will be mine.

I just watched the "Good Deal" wherein Dave Liberman cooks for his bitchy cousin. I am officially in love with him. I would...not lose a toe to have him be my boyfriend, but I'd let someone pull off my toenail? Maybe?

Bottom line... I literally drool over him on Television. He is such a tremendous dork. A Jewy dork...who is whisking things and grinning. I have dirty, dirty thoughts. Also, I scrutinize his show for things he may do that might annoy me. THERE ARE NONE! I TRY to find something wrong with him, so I can not love him as much as I do, but alas! There is nothing! I am obsessed! ::sigh::

I will NEVER find anyone like him in Miami. We don't have any nerdy Jews that are 1) smokingly cute, 2) good cooks, 3) uber smiley and 3) very likely to walk into a mailbox/lightpole/support beam/parking meter.

Know who I don't like? Tyler Florence. In the beginning, I thought he was really cute... But the more I watch his show, the more annoying he gets. He's always talking with his mouth full, and making eating noises, and saying, "Fantastic..." I don't know. Next time I watch his show, I'm going to count the number of times he says "fantastic" every episode. Just like Spence and Jess made up a drinking game for Ray-Ray, I may have one for Tyler Florence... I'll drink whenever he peels his mouth back from his teeth awkwardly, whenever he says fantastic, whenever he talks with his mouth full, whenever he makes some sort of awkward comment, and whenever he ends an "ing" verb in "in" like "choppin'," "workin'," you get the picture.

Also, I've realized that my tastebuds must be approaching "old" status. Want to know how I know that? When I was little, I used to be the super-leftover chicken-taster-sleuth. If there was leftover chicken in something, I KNEW! My parents would scoff and say, "You're crazy! Leftover chicken doesn't taste different than normal chicken! This is fresh chicken! Eat it!" I would merely turn up my nose and demand a peanutbutter and jelly sandwich (after the great, "Food Wars" of 1985, '86, '87, '88 and '89," where I would scream and cry and pound to avoid eating things that it turns out I like now... we worked out a compromise. All I had to eat every meal was a peanutbutter and jelly sandwich, to get out of having to eat nasty things like... well, basically anything.)

Well. I was always right, and they were lying to me. I could ALWAYS taste leftover chicken. To me, it tasted completely and totally different.

Well. Not anymore.

Shit.

I must be getting old. I have to go eat leftover chicken now.