I'm a little slow today. I just switched to Sanka. So...have a heart?

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Celebrities that Bug Me Part II

3) Kirsten Dunst: You were so cute in Interview with the Vampire. One would have thought that with that movie, you at least would have had the two thousand dollars it took to get braces. I mean, we were like 12 and 13 at the time...prime braces time.

But ya didn't, did ya, Kirsten? Ya didn't. Now, every time we have to watch your pasty, spindly-legged characters gasp and swallow their way through any scenes, your bad acting is accentuated by crooked, gray teeth.

Hey - here's an idea - less with the red wine, more with the Invisalign, and let's try some Crest White Strips, kay? You're gross. You wear gross clothing, your hair is gross... Ugh. You're like a translucent cave lizzard with gnarly teeth. Cap those bitches! I'm sorry! But like... who keeps casting you!? Does anyone think you're hot? Or Good? The Brits must eat you up...

4) Jennifer Love Hewitt: In response to MM's comment... eh. I don't love her or hate her. Is she really that bad? I watched some movie the other day with her as a L.A. socialite (Is it bad that right now I can't figure out how to spell Los Angel*s?) with Joey Lawrence playing her gay friend. I thought the movie was mildly entertaining. Do we really hate her that much, Mer? Cuz if we do, I'll jump on board...

3 Comments:

Blogger MM said...

If the fact that she has people call her "Love" instead of "Jen" isn't enough to convince u, then I only have 2 words for you--ghost and whisperer! Smoothches.

8:31 AM

 
Blogger Meltin' Sara said...

Jer- You failed to mention Ms. Dunst's (Can I buy a vowel Pat?) BRILLIANT portrayal of a tap dancing, necro-make-up artiste, wanna be beauty queen in Drop Dead Gorgeous. Go easy on Baby-Teeth! If you want to be annoyed with her how about her first name-"Kirsten" are her parents dyslexic? Hello!

2:23 PM

 
Blogger SuperBee said...

Ooh. You raise an excellent point, Sar. Drop Dead Gorgeous is one of my favorite movies... and I completely forgot that she's in it. Okay. I make exception for her in that movie, but ONLY BECAUSE that was EXACTLY the part she was born to play. All other parts, she sucked in. But I'll totally give her Drop Dead Gorgeous...especially when her alcoholic mother blows up the trailer and gets the beer can glued to her hand... "Don't cryyyy out louuuuud..." Ms. Dunst - You are redeemed ONLY for drop dead gorgeous. A vehicle in which both Kirstie Alley and Denise Richards also shone...as did Frau Farbissenau. And that big fat guy...

4:02 PM

 

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