An Open Letter to Bear Grylls

Dear Bear Grylls,

Welcome to the group! You are now in the Esteemed Company of Dave Lieberman, Roger Hazard, Jeff Corwin, Josh Bernstein, Patrick Dempsey, McSteamy, and all of the other people on Television Shows, that I wish I had babies with.

Welcome to the Club. Because you're British and Outdoorsy, you get special treatment.

When they make you get lost in the Everglades, look me up. I'll bring you drinkable water. And love.

I love you. Break up with your wife. I'll take care of your baby.

~ Me.