I'm a little slow today. I just switched to Sanka. So...have a heart?

Monday, April 10, 2006

Disappearing posts

I took down those posts wherein I complained about being dumped, because I realized I was bleeding a bit too much all over the page.

They still exist. Maybe when this isn't all so raw, I'll put them back up.

In the meantime, I continue to be nauseous about this breakup, and I continue to be grateful for all your sympathy, and I continue to look forward to when I can actually function at work.

And I look forward to the Stained Glass making class that this breakup has driven me to. I could have picked a cool breakup hobby like Kite Surfing (that's next...I just have to build up my upper body a bit more so I don't get tired and drown) or something punchy-kicky like Karate, or I could have taken up sailing again.

Instead, in a moment of extreme weakness, the Jewesses (both the ones I was with, and the ones in the Stained Glass Store on 72nd Avenue) convinced me to take a class. And so I shall, for six weeks this summer, turn pain into glass. And then give it to my parents, most likely.

I think I'm taking the MD bar this summer also. I guess I realized I was staying in Miami, in large part, for Stephen. And now I realize that that was stooo-pid, and that I don't want to stay down here, where, as of right now, I can't turn a corner without seeing a ghost of our relationship. God. Two and a half years is a really, really long time. What is that? Like a fraction of around 10% of my life? Math has never been my forte. That's why I likes the law.

So - yes. I'm trying to turn this blinding pain into glass.

And for god's sake, will someone tell me to stop wanting him to call me?

Thanks.

4 Comments:

Blogger JB said...

If you want to try kiteboarding, there's a few things you can do to get prepared before your upper body catches up. There are smaller trainer kites that you can get so that you can practice the figure-8 motions that you will use to eventually propel yourself on the board. (I imagine Water-play on US-1 would sell these). Also, it's helpful if you know how to wakeboard. I think it's easier to learn that behind a boat, but if you're lacking one (as am I), there's a ski rixen up in Delray that's pretty cool....plus, they rent you the equipment there. I think their web site is www.skirixenusa.com. You'll feel like Gumby when you're done--trust me. ;-)

9:32 AM

 
Blogger Rootietoot said...

Kite boarding looks like way fun. Stained glass is a wonderful creative outlet, and you'll always have something to give away for Christmas.

What on earth is wrong with bleeding all over your blog? If the stains bother you, hydrogen peroxide will get them out. I've been cherishing the impression that blogging was designed for anonymous public bleeding...

10:34 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i agree with rootietoot. this is your blog and you can say and do whateva the hell you want with it. stay true superbee! glad to hear you're taping into the creative side of your brain. stained glass class sounds cool! you'll have some masterpieces to show off once you've honed your craft, i'm sure. just keep on keepin' on and you're gonna survive the breakup 'cause you're a survivor, you're gonna make it (destiny's child)...

10:18 AM

 
Blogger Kara Alison said...

Hey, if you move back to MD then I get to see you more often and that makes me HAPPY!

I'm so sorry you're feeling down. What you're going through is rough. I say if he calls you just tell him to flush his own head in a toilet. That always makes me feel better.

9:26 AM

 

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