I'm a little slow today. I just switched to Sanka. So...have a heart?

Thursday, June 01, 2006

An Exchange:

Scene: Jessica and I are sunkissed, with light streaks in our hair and sand on our ankles. We're salty, and smell like Coconut from the Banana Boat 8 SPF lotion. We amble, beach bags on our shoulders, into the CVS on Lincoln Road between Collins and Washington Ave on Miami Beach. Jessica buys some fizzy water and Gatorade and some Reuniti (on ice, that's nice.)

As we make our way up to the cashier, a crazy Cuban lady with wild gray hair, buying mops and ham and beans tries to make line conversation with us in broken English. But we're focused on getting Jessica's Gatorade and getting outta there.

Jessica goes to a CVS at least three times a day. There's one about 10 yards from her door in Tampa. She knows the system. I do not. As the cashier is ringing her up, she swipes her card, before the cashier has rung in all of her liquids.

Me: What are you doing?! Don't do that yet! She's not done ringing you through! You're gonna mess it up!
Jessica: It's okay, I do this all the time, I can swipe my card before she's through.
Cashier: You know, you shouldn't be telling her what to do. She's an adult.
Me: It's okay. She likes it when I tell her what to do.
Jessica: He's right. I like when he tells me what to do. It makes me feel loved.

All three of us bust out laughing. We take our gatorade and wish her a good day. As we're leaving, Jessica and I are doubled over. Once outside, on the dirtiest most horrible part of Lincoln Road, you know, one of the last Bastions of the realm of the Bum and Sad-Dying Old People in dirty wheelchairs with stained and ragged clothing, the Kings and Queens of the Beach from 1980-1996, if you will, until the Gays REALLY started moving in and classing the joint up, the conversation continues:

Jessica: How AWKWARD was that?!
Me: I think we just made her day.
Jessica: We're her favorite customers of all time. She'll never forget us.
Me: "I like when he tells me what to do. It makes me feel loved." Hah!

And, Scene.

If it's not funny, then screw you. I guess maybe you had to be there.


Blogger Jessica said...

OMG, no, it was the funniest thing EVER. Just the fact that she was smiling SO widely and was so happy by our little exchange. Only made funnier because we were punchy from the sun, hungover, and excited at what our night had in store for us. But no, the exchange itself was HILAR! Oh, how I love when you tell me what to do... ;-)

7:35 AM


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