An Ode to Le Sandwicherie:

Between Washington and Collins on 14th is a lunchcounter.

Really, it's simply a lunch counter running along a filthy alleyway, across from Mac's Club Deuce. There's a gas station on the other side of the alleyway, and Taco San Loco, guaranteed to have you spraying fire out your rear in 30 minutes or less, or your next meal is free, on the other.

Le Sandwicherie has had to lock their bathroom, because of the filthy, filthy bums that inhabit the area. (The alley.)

(If you're ever struck by the Beauty of South Beach [which you shouldn't be, because it's a pretty awful looking place, if you ask me...] you should stroll down the piss-and-hot-trash reeking alleys between Ocean and Collins and Washington... it'll fix you of that particular delusion.)

Le Sandwicherie is a lunch counter, but it makes one of the best sandwiches in Miami. Besides that one particular Deli on Key Biscayne that made a pretty kick ass sandwich too, but I'm digressing...

They serve Orangina and by day their sandwiches are just fine, but after a night of drinking, a turkey breast sandwich with cornichons, camembert, blood red tomatoes, olives, and their signature vinegrette dressing on a crusty baguette, is less a sandwich, and more a religious experience.

Any beach local (which I am allowed to call myself, and will soon be again calling myself) knows of certain places on the beach that we don't advertise to the Tourists who come down. We don't tell them about Joe Allen. We don't tell them about Pita Loca. We don't tell them about Wet Willie's Nachos, or the IceBox's brunch, and we don't tell them about Le Sandwicherie. We keep "The Room" a secret, we're glad Lime is on the wrong side of the Beach, we don't let on about the Argentinian Bakery on Lincoln between Alton and West, and we don't tell them about Le Sandwicherie. Or Gino's Pizza. And I, for one, will never let on about A La Folie.

But.

If you're in the area, and you're drunk. And you will be, because 14th and Washington is the center of South Beach, you should first go to Mac's Club Deuce, to make sure you're really loaded. The friendly old blonde broad behind the Counter will make you a drink in a glass that's been behind that bar for sixty years. It won't be good, and the tonic will be sort of flat, but that's okay. The Deuce is the Grande Dame of Beach Drinkery, where happy hour starts at 8 a.m. When you're done, amble out and stumble across the street, veering right. You should fall into Le Sandwicherie.

Get a Turkey Camembert. Or a saucison sec. On baguette. With vinegrette.

Close your eyes. And you'll see the face of God.