Do you ever have one of those things that happens that suddenly makes you feel cheap?

Not cheap in like, "I got used, I feel so dirty," but cheap as in like, "Mother. Fucker. I can't believe I had to pay for that. That's it. I'm punished. No more (liquor)(booze)(alcohol)(Wendy's)(shoes)(beer)(wine)(expensive prosciutto)(oestra caviar)(hand-made artisan sheep's milk cheese) (jeans)(throwing money out my car window for shits n' giggles)(jeans)(jeans)(jeans)(jeans)(velvet blazers)(overpriced t-shirts)(sneakers)(booze)(totally punk rock jeans)(snacks) for me until the next pay period! No! The pay period after that, so I can re-stock my savings account! Yeah!"

Does that ever happen to you? I'm feeling cheap now. Since T. Chavarria so helpfully pointed out to me yesterday that my registration was expired since September, 2006, I've felt a little cheap. Because I had to replace my registration ($45) and because I now have to pay T. Chavarria's parking ticket in the amount of $33.00. (Incidentally, T. Chavarria - I still hope you die a painful death, for nailing me just because I drive a nice car, EVEN THOUGH MY METER WASN'T EXPIRED, I'm just letting that post simmer for a minute.) It's not a lot of money - what is that, like $78 dollars or something? Big fuckin' deal. But oh, I don't know. I feel like every time I turn around I'm plunking down fifty bucks. It's like... I can't do ANYTHING and not spend fifty bucks. A cheap night drinking in a dive bar? Fifty bucks in the first minute. Buy some pens at CVS? Fifty bucks. Go to Toys R Us to buy a kite because it's windy and I'm feeling particularly gay? Fifty bucks. Starbucks? Fifty bucks. Spare change to a homeless guy? I hand him two twenties and a ten.

I'm feeling cheap. But there are so many things to do. I'm going to the opera tomorrow. I'm sure that'll run me fifty bucks between parking and the ticket. It's like... damn. When did I lose the concept of money? Every time I go to the ATM I pull out a hundred bucks, and it lasts me two and a half days, MAX. And I still put a lot of shit on my debit card.

And how can I get my Cheap back? How can I start becoming aghast at prices again, so I buckle down and make my own shoes and spin my own clothing? How can I reinstitute a "candles only after dark and no air-conditioning"policy?

I was totally a tightwad my Freshman year in college when my parents gave me $200.00 a month in spending money. (Holy hell, how did I survive on that?!) I wish I could get back to being penny-pinchingly cheap.

I need to be. I need to stop hemmorrhaging money.