Well, at least I survived...somewhat unscathed.

My Monday:

1) Woke up.

2) Got ready.

3) Caught the side of my junk in my pants zipper, a-la Ben Stiller in "There's Something About Mary."

4) Stared at my junk caught in the zipper. Tried to move said zipper to free my junk. Couldn't.

5) Panicked.

5) Junk came miraculously unstuck as a result of traumatized-junk-shrinkage. Minimal bleeding ensues.

6) Recovered.

6) Worked.

7) Got "brain zaps" from coming off the crazypills.

8) Worked through the dizziness.

9) Came home.

10) Went on a bikeride.

11) Almost fell off my bike numerous times on Lincoln as i) my chain repeatedly fell off; and ii) pavement was very slippery -- almost careened into two tourists.

12) Got caught in Hurricane Nana or whateverthehell that was that came through Miami Beach.

13) Go0t home, showered off the street poop-juice I was covered in -- dried off.

14) Ate brisket, thanked God I made it (so far) through the day.

Time for Tuesday!