I'm a little slow today. I just switched to Sanka. So...have a heart?

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

A whole new person after seven years.

You know how they say that every seven years, your body totally replaces itself - like that you don't have any of the same cells that you had seven years and a week ago?

When I wrote my last post, and realized that I've been here over 6 years, it was sort of like, "Woah."

Because when people ask me where I'm from, I don't say, "Miami." (Okay, sometimes I do, but that's if I'm not interested in getting into a conversation with a tourist or someone in the hospitality industry...) I say one of the following:

1) Maryland (if it's someone not from the Eastern Seaboard (but from America) - they probably don't know where Maryland is, let alone Baltimore or Columbia; also used with fellow Jews (Oh, he's a Maryland JAP - probably from either Pikesville or Owings Mills (not anymore, friends, not Jappy anymore at all... sadly -- being JAPPY is VERY EXPENSIVE and after college ended, I couldn't really afford to be...));

2) Baltimore (if the person is from Maryland, but not a part of Maryland I deem to be nice, I say "Baltimore" to curry favor with their being from a crappy place, and trying to sink down to their level. But it is technically true - I was born in Baltimore and lived there until 3rd grade...and I'm not implying that Baltimore is a bad or ugly place - I love that City. I just don't want people thinking I'm from Arbutus or Glen Burnie or the Ritchie Highway area, or Lutherville or Riderwood or Pimlico... I suppose I could say "Towson" but now we're getting super suburb specific instead of Greater Baltimore Area specific... oh, and I also don't want people thinking I'm from Timmonium or anything...oh, but if I were from Roland Park or Homeland or Guilford or Stoneleigh or Wyndhurst or Keswick or Blythewood or "around Cold Spring Road," I'd say it. Happily... );

3) Columbia (if the person is from: Bethesda, Rockville, Kensington, Chevy Chase, Potomac, etc., and will think less of me if I say "Baltimore" and also, hell, I grew up in the Columbubble, so I AM also from Columbia, probably moreso than Baltimore...);

4) "Right between Baltimore and Washington" (this is also a typical follow up when someone says, "Where's Columbia?")

5) From W.A.S.H.I.N.G.T.O.N. D.C. (used for foreigners with a tenuous grasp of the English language)(Note, JOHN MCCAIN, THERE IS NO "R" IN WASHINGTON!)

Wait, where am I going with this?

Oh, yeah. Six years.

That means in another 10 months, I won't be able to say any one of those five selections above! I'll have to say "Miami" because that's where I'd've lived for the past seven years!


I don't WANT to be from Miami! I LIKE being from one of those 5 places! It makes me exotic!

Oh well. Back to plain old ordinary "I've-lived-in-Miami-long-enough-to-be-from-here" SuperBee.



Blogger Blind Mind said...

Im the same way. Ive lived here 7 years and when Im not here and people ask me where Im from I always say, "Im from Boston but I live in Miami."

7:46 AM

Blogger SuperBee said...

I wonder why there's such a strong compulsion, in this city anyway, for people to distance themselves from it. "Oh, I'm just passin' through here, on my way to somewhere WAY better and WAY more... respectable."

8:23 AM

Blogger Jess said...

Um hello, I changed my license from NJ to TAMPA in 2002 and still say I'm from NJ. Def not here.

8:23 PM

Blogger Jess said...

Also, where is Frederick, MD? Because that's where my new bartender boyfriend is from.

8:24 PM

Blogger Colin said...

Ah, the grass is always greener. I'm wondering, Mr. Bee, how you would like living and working in Columbia, MD at this stage of your life? I'm sure it's lovely, but boring as hell. I'm curious to know, if you could live anywhere in the world, where that would be. Interesting post though, with which many in Miami can surely identify. I, of course, am from Upstate NY, by way of Beantown (the most bitter place on earth).

12:37 PM

Blogger SuperBee said...

Jess - Frederick is in the western part of Maryland. It's where my dad works. Your boyfriend is a hick. :)

Colin - You're right. I think of the people who still live in Columbia as townies and feel bad for them (Sorry, y'all!)

We'll continue this discussion, however, another time. Likely at Buck 15. I have to go see a muvie with Gael now.

6:07 PM


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