I'm a little slow today. I just switched to Sanka. So...have a heart?

Friday, April 22, 2005

I lied. Blogs I hate.

I'm all for freedom of expression. Unless a blog falls into one of three categories:

1) Singaporean/Indonesian/Thai school children, creating blogs like THIS: http://attitudepiggystar.blogspot.com/ in nonsensical gibberish, phonetic "English" with pages that are as busy and annoying to behold as a Japanese Pinko/Plinko/Panko/whatever Parlor. (These are only moderately annoying)
http://emi-diary.blogspot.com/, http://jazztro.blogspot.com/,

2) SPAM blogs - honestly? What's the point in having a Spambot create blog entries?! All you're doing is crowding cyberspace with NOTHING, and really, isn't that Singapore's job? http://bittenreadability1113.blogspot.com/

3) Adolescent girls and boys, bent on destroying English phonetics, grammar and structure: http://deppluver.blogspot.com/.

Clearly today I'm into lists. Lists and being annoyed with Federal Income Tax, which is about as interesting as reading a page of binary code. Now, onto why these pages annoy me:

Spamblogs, clearly that's just because, as I've said before, what's the point? Why are people out there just cluttering things? Are they signed up for ad-revenue services or some program, so that whenever someone clicks on one of those blogs, it deposits a penny in some account somewhere, and if one cultivates enough accounts by spamblogging, then it turns profitable - that's the only reason I can see for setting up one of those.

But on to the blogs I really hate: The nonsensical "English" blogs with their stupid arcade appearance and the fact that they relay absolutely zero content whatsoever.

I'm all for people learning English (BELIEVE ME, I am ALL FOR IT, especially living in Miami) y mientras que puedo conversar y escribir en espanol, especialmente en el espanol escrito, I don't do it (no lo hago) because there's really no reason for me to (porque, no hay ningun razon que lo haria). BUT, if I ever had occasion to write in Spanish, I would make damn sure that what I was writing made sense, and people should do that in English. What point is there in constructing sentences like this "we go he said lol muah coz can't i apple love jaz celfone."

I have passed judgment, and my judgment is that those blogs are stupid. Those kids must have an awful lot of downtime on their hands to sit around like a bunch of smoking monkeys in a room with 1,000,000 typewriters, banging out letters onto a page. Go, join a team sport. Pick up litter, babysit your brother or buy a new pair of socks. But for god's sake, PLEASE stop writing this useless crap. It means nothing in your language and it means nothing in mine.

It's not racism, it's just irritability with what I perceive as a marked downturn in the quality of my native language both at home and abroad. Of course, as a member of my generation, I use the written colloquial, and it's a fantastic way to express myself. A sentence constructed with "gonna," to me at least, conveys the true intent of my expression inordinately better than "going to," which, in some instances, is too formal.


There is a time and a place for the colloquial and there is a time and a place for the formal, and with the kids who are even a few years younger than I am, I'm starting to think they have lost the ability to grasp that concept. OMG LOL!

On instant messenger, people sometimes make fun of me because I use correct capitalization, spelling and punctuation. I may not be an absolute comma MASTER (in fact I have the tendency to over-commafy everything) or be completely on top of correct grammar in every situation, but I make an attempt.

Those young'uns don't. What's going to happen when they get to law school and, when asked to begin a motion for summary judgment, write the motion thusly:

"Perrsuant 2 rule XXX of the Fedral Roolzs of Civ. Pro., Plaintiff XXX Corp. (Plaintiff) herbye moves this honorable court 8-) for S.J. in its faver 'genst D. Wanda Tyson (Defendant) and n support thereof statezzz:

1) At all material timz Plaintiff was a corporation, duly incorporated and operating solely under the laws of the State of Florida. OMG! LOL!!
2) At all material times Defendant was a citizen of Masachusits.
3) D. is claiming damagez of $5,000 bucks. Hee hee!!!
4) You need more than five grand to impose divercity jorisdiction!
4) D. has not met the requirmentz 4 divercity jorisdiction. We totally sware!

Wherefore Plaintiff requests that this honorable cort dismiss Wanda's klaim wif' prejudice (not that kind! lol!) and moves 'dis honorable kort for atternie's fees in 'da amount of $10,678.32 (OMG, that's soooo o much! ROFL!)?


Yes, I'm being a control freak, and yes I'm seeking to impose my will on other people, but that's just because I'm easily annoyed right now, and if I try to read something, I don't want it to contribute to my mind's decay any more than Federal Income Tax does.

I'm just sayin' it's annoying. hee-hee!


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