What's the deal with 20 m.p.h?!

Why is it that so many people down here have no problem tooling along at 20 miles per hour? Or thirty? Do they have so little to do in a day, that they can coast along, barely hitting the gas pedal, as Conestoga wagons laden with pots, sugar, coffee and fatback go lumbering past them?

What the hell is the deal, people?! How is 20 a comfortable speed for you?! I feel like I could park my car and jog past your car with NO PROBLEM.

I must look really comical behind these people, as they creak along in their Datsun station wagon or their Jaguar. Jaguars are REALLY bad offenders, for some reason... Why is it that the owners of these Jags don't use the damn car? I mean, really?! They laid out a few bucks for the car, and they could get the same performance out of a Kia Sonata...all cars drive the same at 20...

The bottom line is, I'm going to start giving these drivers a little bit of "healthy encouragement," by nudging them forward with my front bumper. What the hell do I care about my front bumper? It's already scratched from when that undergrad slammed into me in the law school parking lot, so what's another few scratches on little Rolf Golf? The people I nudge may not be happy about me hitting them with my bumper, but that's too damn bad. Get out of my way, or speed up, because I don't have time to sit behind you as you float, Macy's Day Parade style down Sunset or Red. Jackass.