I'm a little slow today. I just switched to Sanka. So...have a heart?

Monday, October 30, 2006

Everyone is stupid, and in my way.

Today, as I visited Publix for ingredients to make some Pumpkin bread in my Kitchen Aid Artisan Series Stand Mixer (WHICH I HATE, but that's a different post altogether) and went to CVS for some Sudafed with Pseudoephedrine HCL, and then Vicks and then Robitussin, I had an epiphany:


Here are some suggestions for keeping me from wanting to kill you:

1) Figure out how to use the credit card scanner. They've been out for years. Navigate your way through them. If you can't, pay with cash. Or admit your ignorance to the cashier so she'll do it for you. Otherwise, you're in my way. Get out of my way. You're slow and stupid.

2) STOP GABBING WITH THE PHARMACIST. You want a prescription filled? Go to the ORDERS counter, not the PAY counter. And quit chatting with the lady who's filling your prescription about Adavan or Advair or whatever you're getting. She doesn't care, I don't care, and you're in my way.

And a note to Freshmen in College - the ones buying condoms and refilling, what I can only imagine based on the white streaks on your face, is your Benzamycin zit-cream medication. It's just sad. You're not going to use those condoms. NO ONE is going to have sex with you. So stop making such a show about buying condoms. Because... you're not fooling anyone. Now... wipe the thick layer of Benzamycin off your face, and maybe, MAYBE you'll get laid. If, of course, you lose 20 pounds (at least) and get a haircut. You're fat, zitty and gross.

Oh, and get out of my way. And no, you can't cash a check at CVS without Identification.


See? See what I put up with?

THIRTY MINUTES I waited in CVS to get Sudafed.



Blogger Rootietoot said...

What color's your mixer? I have the Basic White, being too conservative to buy a pink one. Other than the little silver ring at the top constantly falling off, I love mine.

AS for Stupid People In Your Way. It's God's way of telling you to relax. Relax! You think too much!

I'm assuming you have a cold? Based on your medicinal purchases?
That could also explain your impatience with overweight zit-faced condom purchaser. Of course, it could just be your general personality.

4:14 AM


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