Some Points:
I'm tired and vaguely hungover from my dinner last night at the Over-hyped and under-delivering "Food Gang" in Surfside.
Note to restaurants: This whole "sweet steak" trend - it's terrible. I don't want my meat sweet. I want it
Anyhoo. Here are some crumbs for you hens to peck:
Driving tip: When on the highway in heavy traffic, count your lucky stars if an emergency vehicle comes up behind you! After the vehicle has passed, scootch in behind it and tailgate it! Ride the parting of the Red Sea behind the Ambulance or State Trooper! You'll shave minutes off your commute! YAY!
On that same note: Hey assholes who leave like ten car-lengths between them and the car in front of them - Stop being an asshole. Close the gap, and get traffic inching forward, you bastard.
Other note: When you're courteous and you let someone in front of you, say, at a stopsign, while you're in line waiting for a light to change, you probably think you've done a nice thing by letting that person in, don't you?
Well, here's my take on that: You've done a mean thing to the fifteen cars BEHIND YOU, who are now DEFINITELY NOT going to make that light, because you keep letting cars in front of you. It's a competition out there. Close the gap. Don't let them in. Because you're doing twelve bad things while doing one good thing.
Eh, that's really all I've got right now. I'm tired, but I have to do a lil' exercise, as I've been off the diet the last few days and now I'm wracked with shame and guilt. I'm probably back up to 150 lbs again. The horror...
9 Comments:
I used to work with an ambulance service. We would be sitting in the back, looking at cars drafting on us, and pretend we had machine guns to shoot them all into oblivion.
Don't piss off a medic, you might need one someday.
'course, this was in East Alabama, not Miami. Where they probably actually DO have machine guns in the back.
4:37 PM
I get out of their way and let them pass! But... what's so wrong about using a path legally cleared for the Ambulance, to speed my commute home? I don't tailgate, but why waste a flowing lane of traffic?
And I'm glad that the Stereotype of Miami as a dangerous shoot-em-up Scarface city ruled by Blow and Artillery still holds true. ;) Keeps some of the Tourists away!
6:45 PM
There's just something nebulously Not Right about it. Like taking advantage of someone elses misfortune. The Christian Housewife Disapproves.
And, I like the Rural South's reputation for guns in every truck and a meth lab in every back yard. Keeps the Yankee riff raff away.
4:21 AM
Necessity is the mother of invention. Whenever God closes a door, he opens a window. I'm sure the sick person in the Ambulance would want to know they were making a positive difference in someone else's life. I know I would. As long as that someone else didn't end up rear-ending the ambulance.
6:34 AM
You have been in Miami too long. We all have.
6:49 AM
I dunno, sick people in the back of ambulances aren't exactly altruistic. They tend to be incredibly self centered. "Aghh! My leg! you left my leg! Aagh!" Oh be quiet. Your leg is in the cooler. Now hush, I can't hear your heart.
8:48 AM
god I really don't miss driving. I started to get road rage just reading this.
10:32 AM
SuperBee, why don't you have an e-mail address posted in your profile? Don't you think you should be the proud owner of SuperBee@gmail.com, or some such thing?
12:03 PM
shawn - i couldn't agree more.
12:54 PM
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