OMFG, IDGAF.

I don't know who LeBron James is. I don't care who he is. Heat Games = downtown traffic, and my friends not being available for dinner. I'm looking at you, Liza.

So, not giving a "toss" about who this guy is, here is a collection of my friends' Facebook Status Updates from the last fifteen minutes, when, apparently, the most earth-shaking news came down from on High at ESPN about some... basketball player. I'm only including the James references, and have left them exactly as written (except for one last-name redaction) but here goes:

1) Pat Riley is the KING of Miami. This is just amazing.

2) Who is this Myron Janes everyone keeps talking about? (That was me.)

3) not really a bball fan but Holy Cow the Heat are going to be good.

4) how many times do you think we will go to miami for heat games?

5) Cleveland, you already got Betty White this year. Don't be greedy.

6) lebron james is goin to MIAMI and brian ****** is goin to MIAMI!

7) MIAMI HEAT DYNASTY BEGINS!!!!

8) LBJ in the MIA. The only person who can stop the championships from coming in is David Stern.

9) Fun time to live in Miami.

10) Thank you so much carnival cruise line owner and I bow down to you Pat Riley!!!!

11) the trifecta is complete....

12) Really loves basketball, and always has

13) The heat is on!

14) The things I like about basketball are the touchdowns... And the occasional homerun.

15) WOW!!! Welcome LeBron...

16) Bienvenido a Miami Sr James!!

17) our economy's based on lebron james....

18) :: for some reason my heart just broke. LBJ why not jusy be loyal and stay in Cleveland?

19) Lebron! You can hear it for new york but Miami is where the heat is at!!! Welcome king James

20) YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

21) can hear the screams and horns honking outside. We got Lebron bitches!!!! I can't believe it! Go Heat!!!

22) LeBron to Miami. Was that worth an hour long special?

23) Go Miami! But winning & turning your back on those who have always supported you isn't a very good message for all those little boys & girls.

24) LeBron to Miami!!!!

25) Love me some lebron

26) Ugh

27) Thank you LeBron!!!

28) And Lebron picks Miami!!!

29) WOHOOOOOOOOOOOO-DREAM TEAM IN MIAMI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have also de-friended every one of these people.

Soooo... Yay basketball? There's some guy who's gonna play here? I guess it's real exciting?

Bully!