Vizcaya this year was a load of crap.

If you didn't spend $160.00 on a ticket to Vizcaya's annual Halloween Party, pat yourself on the back. If you did, and you're reading this, you probably don't have a hangover. And let's vow never to go back -- and to demand a refund.

The party this year was an EPIC failure. EPIC. Like... indescribably bad.

So it rained. No big deal. They can't control the weather, and they had...two... tents erected. Two puddly, steamy tents.

So, they didn't have a DJ, but a live band. A DJ is better for that sort of thing, but whatever.

What I, and everyone else are LIVID about, was the booze. And the ticket prices. And the fact that they jacked the ticket prices up forty bucks AND slashed 1) the quality of booze; 2) the availability of the booze; and 3) the number of bars.

There were two full-liquor bars (in years past there were... upwards of seven?) and those bars were out of Vodka by 10 p.m. It was impossible to get a drink at those bars, because they were MOBBED. There were two bars serving Stella that would intermittently run out of beer (and the cunty [and I don't use that word lightly] bartenders would bald-facedly lie and say "That's it. No more beer tonight."), and then there were bars serving Patron tequila (barf) and rum and cranberry juice (barf.)

Getting drinks was impossible. I was so wet and miserable and sober, I seriously considered venting my rage by setting fire to the Mansion itself.

This was the worst Halloween I think I have ever had. And that's including the first time I went to Vizcaya in 2004, broke my nose, lost my phone and my friends, and wandered from Vizcaya to Merrick Park before throwing myself on a taxi and demanding it take me home.

Epic failure, Vizcaya. You screwed the pooch AND jumped the shark...