Grade my essay, bitches.

Okay. So here's a Bar-Bri complaint:

Bar-Bri Florida, sure, it's annoying that your site is always down, and that many of your review questions are simply too easy with answers that are simply too obvious...or on the flip side, simply too hard, with nuances I'll never. ever. learn. And yes, some of your professors are boring, and make us write too much on our handouts, and yes, my thumb hurts from writing when I walk out of there and I'm annoyed at you, and your announcements, and your I.D. badges and your heavy, heavy books with extraneous explanations that I don't really care about in the Multistate books.

But here's my real beef with you:

When we have to turn in essays to you for grading, howzabout you don't make it such a stringent deadline, heh? I paid you a lot of money for this course, and you have to understand that NOT EVERYBODY is EXACTLY on your schedule. Life happens, interviews happen, and sometimes we can't always learn trusts, and then write an essay on it on the VERY DAY you want us to. So here's my request:

Cut us some fucking slack. "ESSAYS MUST BE RECEIVED BY JUNE FIFTEENTH OR THEY WILL NOT BE GRADED!" (I learned all about conditional acceptance and I think that's what that is...) Hey, numbnuts, I got shit to do. I'm not cutting into my already mere 6 hours of sleep per night to crank out an essay on a topic I know NOTHING about, so why don't you cut me some goddamn slack and make it "postmarked" by June 15th, heh? Or it will not be graded. Not be graded my ass! How much did I pay you? For a set of books? To bore me to tears?! Christ. Two-bloody-thousand dollars, and you won't grade my essay if I don't get in to the booming metropolis that is Tallahassee, Florida?! Hell, I don't even think they have auto-m0-biles up there in Tallahassee, and it's gonna take quite a while for Postmaster Quelch to load up that donkey cart and walk the mail to the Bar-Bri office.

So howzabout this: I'll do the essay whenever I damn-well feel like, and you'll grade it. How does that sound? I'll have it postmarked by the fifteenth, but this whole "DO IT FIVE DAYS BEFORE IT'S DUE" thing...it sort of chaps my ass.

That is all.