I'm a little slow today. I just switched to Sanka. So...have a heart?

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Infection, yea not vanquished, LESSENED!

YAY!

Now I can concentrate on the more important things in life. Like how this song made me sit in front of our record player for hours trying to learn it. I remember the floppy black square record that came in the mail... they just don't send out cool shit like they used to, huh?

And on those same lines -- do you ever find yourself wishing it was 1987 again? Honestly, I do. A lot, actually. I think I really liked 1987-1988. I was in Second Grade...we moved from Baltimore to our huuuuuuuuge (at the time) house in Columbia... I caught my first toad... I had a rat-tail, and it was...still not okay.

And there were no signs that the McDLT would ever go off McDonald's menu.

Ahhh, the McDLT.

I'm talkin' quarter pound of beef on the hot, hot side!
And the hot ::clap! clap!:: stays hot!
The New McDLT
HOT! HOT!
Crisp lettuce and tomato on the cool, cool side!
And the cool ::clap! clap!:: stays cool!
The new McDLT
COOL! CRISP!
The beef stays hot! The cool stays crisp!
Put it together, you can't resist!
The hottest taste, the coolest dish!
Keep the hot, hot!
Keep the cool, cool!
McDLT!
McDLT!
Hot, beefy McD,
Cool, crisp LT
McD! ::clap! clap!:: LT ::clap! clap!::
It's a good time!
Hot beefy McD!
For the Great taste!
Cool, crisp LT
Of McDonald's!
Could be the best tasting lettuce and tomato hamburger...ever!
New McD! ::clap! clap! LT ::clap! clap!::

Honestly? Two things. First, I would give my right arm for a McDLT with its cloroflourocarbon styrofoam container... so much unnecessary packaging. Gotta love the 80s. Mmmmmmm. Do you REMEMBER HOW GOOD IT WAS!? IT WAS SO FUCKING GOOD.

Second: Why wasn't it a McBLT? I know, I know...BLT is bacon, lettuce and Tomato, but like... what's hot beefy McD? A hamburger is made out of "Beef," not "Deef." That never made sense to me. They could have called it the McCLT (Cow, lettuce and tomato?) Or they could have slapped some bacon on the hot side and called it the McBBLT (would have fit in with the cocaine-frenzied advertising campaign) HOT CRISPY COOL AND CRISP MC BBLT MC BBLT ::CLAP! CLAP!:: I JUST DID AN EIGHTBALL IN THE BATHROOM, LET'S GO, GUYS, GOTTA SELL SOME BURGERS! HOLY SHIT, WHERE DID I PUT THE KEYS TO MY DELOREAN, I HAVE TO GET DOWN TO THE ODEON TO PARTY WITH ANDY WARHOL, WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE LATEST PHIL COLLINS RELEASE!? I JUST GOT THIS THING CALLED A CD PLAYER! THEY'RE LIKE RECORDS, BUT SMALLER! CHRIST, I CAN'T FEEL MY TEETH! THIS SHIT IS AMAZING! I HOPE ALL THE SAVINGS AND LOANS IN WHICH I INVESTED WON'T GO UNDER, BECAUSE THEN HOW WILL I PURCHASE THIS AMAZING COLOMBIAN COCAINE, AND CHURN OUT THESE BRIGHTLY COLORED, FAST-CUTTING MCDONALD'S COMMERCIALS FOR HAMBURGERS WITH EXTRA-BIG FOAM CONTAINER PACKAGING, THAT, NINETEEN YEARS LATER, WILL HAVE 25 YEAR OLDS WISHING THEY COULD STILL GET THEIR HANDS ON?!

So, that's my observation. Alas, alack the day, when McDonalds sold out and replaced the Hot, Beefy McD and the cool crisp LT, with the McLean Deluxe... which was sort of confusing to me, being from Maryland, with McLean Virginia so close... (pronounced "McLane") I never understood why it was the McLane Deluxe - what the hell did that mean? (Yeah, I knew, reduced fat hamburger...whatever.)

Bottom line? I miss the McDLT. I think McDonald's could really make a killing by bringing it back, for the 80s Nostalgia factor. They haven't really gotten rid of anything else that was really all that great. Just the McDLT. And, McDonald's, if you're listening? The seasonal chicken parmigiana sandwich? That should be a staple. Best fucking chicken parm I have EVER had. And also...the McPork, which is so popular in Europe on account of all the Mad Cow over there... that's seriously fucking tasty too. Maybe try selling those in America. Like a sausage pattie hamburger! MMMMMMMMMM!

2 Comments:

Blogger Rootietoot said...

2nd grade in '87. You baby. I had my first child in '88. Of course, I was only 12 at the time (this is Georgia, after all)...but still.

Isn't the Big N Tasty kinda like the McDLT?

5:26 AM

 
Blogger Dop said...

You took me way back ... and made me feel old. in 1987, I was 21. And eating McDLT's like they were going out of style. Which sadly, they did. Thanks for the stroll.

2:29 PM

 

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