Easiest way to get me to laugh in your face?

So, I got my first offer on my place today. At first, I panicked. Not so much because I was worried about having to move, but it really sunk in, that I was actually going to move...eventually.

Not yet, though. Because I'm rejecting the shit out of this offer. After I shared the offer with Mom, and went through some of the contract provisions, she was like, "Are these people even serious? What do you think? I'm in no rush. These people can take a hike."

I almost wish I could be in the same room as the prospective buyers so I could heartily guffaw at their way-below-list-price offer of 300K, and tear up their contract with its persnickety "Seller Pays Lien Search Costs" provisions, and it's $500.00 to repair opt-out provision, and its mandatory arbitration in lieu of litigation paragraphs.

I know what I'm sitting on. And I know that even as the South Florida Condo market comes crashing down around me, I have a solid investment. JAPS claw their eyes out to live here. I've already priced this place the lowest in my building because I want OUT (not because I think it's less desirable than the other places) and therefore, there's not much flexibility. Maybe a grand or two... but to offer me thirty five thousand bucks less than I'm listing it for? These people have got to be out of their fucking minds.

As Whitney Houston once said so eloquently: "KISS MAH'ASS!"

And I'm pretty sure the Father of the kid who wants to buy it is an Orthopedic surgeon in Coral Springs. He's got the money. Let's see how bad he wants my place...