I'm a little slow today. I just switched to Sanka. So...have a heart?

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Dear Paula Deen:

Dear Paula Deen:

I know I've said it before, but I'm going to say it again:

I love you.

I don't love you in the I-want-to-have-sex-with-you kind of way; rather, I love you in the whenever-you're-on-tv-you-make-me-smile kind of way. I want you to make me gingersnaps and milk, and I want you to kiss my forehead, and I want us to play "War" with cards, and I want you to hold my hand when we're at the Zoo or Vizcaya or the Old Parrot Jungle in Pinecrest. I want you to read me stories and tuck me in and I want you to sit next to me in a rocking chair and drink lemonade.

Am I projecting memories of my deceased grandmother upon you? Perhaps...even though you and her are sort of geographic opposites...

I'm warning you: if I ever happen to stumble across you (Perhaps at the Miami Beach Food and Wine Festival) I am going to give you a great-big bear hug.

You're on notice.




Blogger Jessica said...

Did you know she has a magazine now?! BTW, I love her BUT think it's SO funny and SO awkward how she's always standing there at the beginning and end, ALONE, with a HUGE table of mounds of food, nibbling on it and saying she wished her husband was there. And don't get me started on her "outdoor kitchen." Or her wedding episode. Or her kids. Or their HORRID show. Thanks.

4:02 PM

Blogger Rootietoot said...

heehee...hay....guess where I'm eating lunch on Friday...

4:19 PM

Blogger SuperBee said...

Dear Jessica:

How many food network magazines do you read? I realize you do everything in hyperspeed, which is why you're able to make baked ziti, walk dogs, read magazines go shopping, go to concerts, have lunch with your Mom and Colly and get your hoo-hoo waxed in the space of an hour, but it sort of scares me. Her outdoor kitchen makes me itchy.

And I might be in love with the older son...(not that little Jewish looking one. He's gross) but only if he keeps his mouth shut.

And RT:

If you happen to see Ms. Deen (unfortunately, I doubt you will, but if you do...) GIVE HER A GREAT BIG BEARHUG FOR MEEEEEEEEE!

::sigh:: Jealous.

Maybe I'll use one of my non-existent vacation days and go hang out in Savannah...

4:42 PM


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