I'm a little slow today. I just switched to Sanka. So...have a heart?

Friday, September 01, 2006

You're all abominable.

Yeah, I may be gay, which is an "abomination," but check out what you can have you SOUL stripped away for, and be cast out from the religion! Eating three-day old meat! And some people wonder why I take the Bible with a grain of salt...

Leviticus Chapter 19:

19:6 It shall be eaten the same day ye offer it, and on the morrow: and if ought remain until the third day, it shall be burnt in the fire.

19:7 And if it be eaten at all on the third day, it is abominable; it shall not be accepted.

19:8 Therefore every one that eateth it shall bear his iniquity, because he hath profaned the hallowed thing of the LORD: and that soul shall be cut off from among his people.

Also, you're not allowed to cut your hair. Or your beard. Or get a tattoo. Don't believe me?

19:27 Ye shall not round the corners of your heads, neither shalt thou mar the corners of thy beard.

19:28 Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the LORD.

Wanna hybridize cattle? Plant some geraniums next to some tulips? Wear a cotton/poly blend shirt?! SINS! SINS! SINS!

19:19 Ye shall keep my statutes. Thou shalt not let thy cattle gender with a diverse kind: thou shalt not sow thy field with mingled seed: neither shall a garment mingled of linen and woollen come upon thee.

I've never read this so-called "Bible" in English... but, from what I'm seeing... an awwwwwful lot of people have an awwwwwwful lot to be sorry about! As Reverend Lovejoy once said, "Oh, Marge. Everything's a sin. If you read the Bible closely enough, we're not even allowed to go to the bathroom!"


Blogger Rootietoot said...

An explanation: Christ came to fulfill the prophecy and release us from the obligation of following the law. Peter had a hallucination in Acts that resolved that conflict.That's why I can eat pork and my husband can trim his (marvelous, never to be removed, red and blond)beard.
That and I'm a Gentile heathen who's ancestors painted themselves blue and wore skirts.

3:03 PM

Blogger SuperBee said...

I don't get it.

God doesn't change his mind... he was never like "Okay, Lot, you're lonely, I'll turn your wife back into a person..." She's still there... in Jordan... Standing still.

Release people from the obligation of following the law?!

Well, if you say so. But in that case, all those laws are mentioned in the same breath as the gay thing...

So I guess that's excused too. ;)

I guess everyone else hasn't gotten the memo yet. I trust you'll make up some flyers and hand 'em out whilst out running your errands.

Hooray for absolution!

3:47 PM

Blogger Rootietoot said...

Well, I don't know that God changed his mind so much as He went to plan b.

As for the Law Abiding folk of today, they are the Christian Equivalent of Pharisees, and Christ has PLENTY to say about them. More than He has to say about adulterers, tax collectors, and other societal pariah of His day.

That's not to say we all can just run off and do whatever we want, it just means that behavior isn't what gets us next to God, grace is. I do what I believe is right, because I believe the 10 commandments are there to keep us healthy and whole, and because God knows what's best for our wellbeing. Following the Law is not be all to end all, though, because we can never be perfect. Grace bridges the gap between our imperfection and God's perfection.

Help any?

As for Lot, I am moderately convinced that little tidbit is a campfire story used to explain the mineral pillars in that part of the world.

10:27 AM


Post a Comment

<< Home