I'm a little slow today. I just switched to Sanka. So...have a heart?

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Atholton? Iiich.

This is just a continuation of a comment chain with someone. For most of you, this will make no sense. That's okay. For some of you, you'll understand parts of it. For one or two of you, you may understand the entire thing.

How did Aaron get out of going to Beit'Filah? (Beit'Filah, everybody come and have a good time, ba-dum-bum-bum, sing a sweet song, all day long, who cares if the Song doesn't rhyme?) Especially when you and Bubba had to trek into Pikesville every day (what was THAT commute like?) (I just realized all your names start with "A.")

And iiich. Why would he want to go to ATHOLTON?! That was where all the ::gag:: Laurel people went to school. Laurel and Scaggsville. They were the kids who got pregnant and cut themselves. I guess those kids went to Howard also... And Glenelg. And Mount Hebron. Pretty much any school not located in Columbia Proper. Even Atholton was on an outparcel, right?

You know, I just had a thought. Remember that book, "Wait till Helen Comes?" About that burnt shell of a house, and the ghost? And shit? I wonder if that was written about the Simpsonville Mill ruins that Cedar Lane now runs over. That's the only kind of ruins I can really think of (except for the ruins of that house in Bryant Woods, that are now a tot lot... or the Patapsco Womens Institution in Old Ellicott City... or Hell House behind Old Ellicott City.) But Mary Downing Hahn who wrote the book was from Columbia. I think she lived in Centennial. She came and spoke to our 6th grade reading class.

Well that was an odd tangent... to get from Atholton to Wait till Helen Comes. But they're in the same neighborhood... so... okay. The end.


Blogger Mike said...

I can't believe you're forgetting the best ruins in all of Columbia - the Enchanted Forest, by far the creepiest spot in a 50 mile radius.

11:32 AM

Blogger SuperBee said...

You are correct with that, Sir. Are we ever going to sneak in there? Or are we just never going to be home again at the same time...ever?

1:57 PM

Blogger Laura said...

The Enchanted Forest is technically in Ellicott City, but close enough. We went there when we were little and all I can remember is that my sister was stung by a bee and we had to go home. I'm still a little mad at her.

Movie trivia: the Enchanted Forest was featured in the John Waters not-so-classic, "Cry Baby." Thus, the site is not creepy, it's movie memorabilia!

5:41 PM

Anonymous Adrienne said...

Laura, I don't know you, but I love you for taking the words right out of my mouth. I just watched Cry Baby for the umpteenth time this weekend and each time I get nostalgic for The Enchanted Forest and for "Turkey Point" which is really Milford Mill Swim Club right by Randallstown High.

I remember the Enchanted Forest so well. The swans you could ride around in and the castle...and now it's a frickin' shopping mall with a Petco!

A of all, I can't believe that it JUST dawned on you that all of us have names that start with "A". My parents think they're really clever! All this time we've known each other and you just realized that?! I expected more from you. You're dead to me.

B of all, Aaron went to Atholton because he got kicked out of BT and purposely failed every entrance exam to every private school in the Baltimore/Washington Metropolitan area. For example, when he "interviewed" at 3 of the Friends Schools, on the application when it asked "What do you know about Quakers?", Aaron wrote "I eat their oats a lot". That's my brother..kicking ass a little bit more every day. Despite this, my parents DID live out in the Boondocks then. Before River Hill came along, it was the Boondocks anyway. Now it's morphed into Columbia-ness. To me, however, it will always be "Highland...the town whose post office is a rusty trailer". Now there's a real post office...it's all very sad, just like the Enchanted Forest Petco.

C of all, had I not gone to school 33 miles away, I would have done 2 years at Atholton and then gotten re-districted to River Hill. That never would have happened though since my parents saw what my brother turned into and pretty much blamed the whole thing on the Ho Co Public School System. Thank god for small favors either way.

D of all, that commute everyday is A)why I'm a smoker, and B)why LA traffic doesn't usually bother me.

In conclusion, get over yourself, most of Ho Co while we were growing up was pure white trash, Columbia proper or not. But hey, that's what we loved about it! Now it's a wanna-be Owings Mills/Pikesville/Potomac. THAT, my dear friend, is why we no longer live there! And why my parents do!

10:46 AM


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