Lois.

I have never met a Lois I didn't love. Loises are, by nature, cheerful accomodating old ladies, who smile easily, are patient and understanding, and HELPFUL.

When do I encounter Loises? Primarily when I'm on the phone with the Credit Card Companies, but I know in my youth, when I lived in cities that actually HAD little old Methodist ladies that weren't retired and were still workin', I ran into my fair share of Loises.

Loises smoke a lot. They have greyish-white short straight hair (sometimes slightly curly) nicotene-stained fingers, and a laugh that sounds like their dried out organs are rattling together - like a bag of half-empty porkrinds...

But I know when I've got a Lois, we're in business. I'll get something accomplished... and there will be a little light old-lady flirting to get something I want.

Maybe it's because Loises are whores? Who knows.

The bottom line is... in terms of old Lady names, I know I'm in business with a Lois. And follow up an old black lady when I've gotten warmed up with a Lois... watch the fireworks fly and watch me get my Credits!