Stupid Marshmallows.
So, this year, I have noticed a trend:
Home-made Marshmallows are in vogue. And as I was invited to a party at The Brewer Patriot's ,and he asked me to bring "Something sweet with absolutely no nutritional value whatsoever," I obliged.
And I made homemade Peppermint Marshmallows, that were SUPPOSED to have a red swirl of coloring going through them, just like the ones I saw on "Faggy Deen and Jamie Deen Make 'O Faces' 'Round the Country."
Some observations:
1) Homemade Marshmallows are a PAIN IN THE ASS. They're very sticky.
2) Even though I followed the recipe, a teaspoon full of Peppermint Extract is TOO MUCH.
3) Powdered Sugar tastes bad in excessive quantities.
4) The Whisk attachment of a Stand Mixer mixes far to efficiently. My Marshmallows are pink.
So, I'm bringing a plate of Crappy, Uber-Minty Pink Marshmallows to the party. I guess I should have thought the idea through a little more fully, but by the time I realized it was a bad idea, I had coated every surface in my kitchen with powdered sugar, and was sure the KitchenAid was going to catch on fire from whipping the Marsh into Mallow...and I just didn't care anymore. Then, I had the great idea of sprinkinling on Turtle-Shaped Sprinkles (a Present Courtesy of Jess Cohen) over the Marshmallows. You know when you have a bad idea that makes something worse? That was one of them.
So, Friends, I hope TBP has a lot of Cocoa in his house for his party. Maybe you can throw the 'Mallows into some Eggnog.
We'll probably end up feeding them all to Franklin who will have Minty Fresh Farts for the next three weeks... Pictures will be posted soon.
posted by SuperBee at 6:14 PM
4 Comments:
I tried making marshmallows once. I tinted them green and they didn't firm up. It looked like snot. So I wrapped up blobs in waxed paper, labeled them Candy Snot, and they were a hit with the under-40 set. My parents were dismayed and disgusted and refused to eat it.
8:33 AM
Franklin will probably eat them whether you feed them to him, or he jumps up on the table and helps himself.
I can't believe you went to such a lame party.
6:47 AM
My Marshmallows turned out surprisingly well. They were even CONSUMED at the party! Because I threatened people with bodily harm if they didn't eat them.
And Andy - the party was only lame because you weren't there. ::AWWWW!::
No, it wasn't lame. It was kick-ass. There was eggnog and a jumping dog, that thwapped me in the balls with his tail.
7:06 AM
When I was in college one snowy day in the Northeast, I was home, sipping a cup of coffee and kahlua and watching Martha Stewart make homemade Hot White Chocolate and marshmellows. This idea appealed to me on such a cold day, so I pulled on my Uggs and my North Face jacket and went to the store to buy my ingredients. A of all, HUGE mess was made. B of all, it's surprising that Im still alive and sans diabetes after the hot white chocolate, but the marshmellows were not only a total disaster, despite the fact that I followed that evil bitch's recipe to a tee, but I ended up having to throw away the pans used for marshmellow making because buying new ones was less of a pain in the ass than cleaning up that gooey mess. The lesson here? I should just stick to drinking booze by myself in my living room at 11 am instead of missionizing to actually do shit!
10:18 AM
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