I'm a little slow today. I just switched to Sanka. So...have a heart?

Saturday, September 09, 2006

This looks positively vulgar and campy...who wants to go with me?!

The Holy Land Experience in Beautiful Orlando, Florida, "Discover the Experience" is a bible-based Theme Park.

I want to go for the Musical Crucifiction Show. I also want to go to pay the $30.00 admission price, plus $5.00 for parking. I want to buy gifts and snacks, all while Glorifying God.

Mostly, I want to go, because this seems like the most unholy combination of a Theme-Park meets Religion, and the idea of an actor being crucified to music daily...does the "so-sad-it's-cool" part of my heart good. I'm not being snide about the religious part... I'm being snide about the way its presented. Whenever people try to make religion "fun," it always comes off as hokey, campy, and distasteful to me. Especially since this Theme Park had its very own tax deduction created for it, but it STILL charges you ADMISSION and PARKING.

So, hell. As long as I'm going to be in the neighborhood of Weekie-Watchie Springs and the infamous Mermaid Show (awful.) Why not take a detour to the Holy Land Experience?!

Who's in? Jess?! Next time I go to Tampa... can we go?

And wear Yarmulkes and Talit?! Let's go and see if people ask us if we're Jewish, and try to Save us!

4 Comments:

Blogger Jessica said...

I have been dying to go since I moved to Tampa... it's across from the best, biggest, fanciest mall and only like an hour from Tampa. Name the date and time, and I'll be there :)

9:07 PM

 
Blogger Jessica said...

LOL- I only read the first line when I commented, and now just saw you mentioned me... YES, we are going. I've never even been to Weekie-Watchie, but whatever. When can you come? I want to go shop and see Jesus. Oh, and btw, when that place first opened (it's fairly new, I think), they asked for tax-exempt status b/c it was "religious." Riiiight.

9:08 PM

 
Blogger Rootietoot said...

ugh...right up there with that travesty conjured up by Jim and Tammy Bakker. If you're Christian and you don't go then you're not really Christian. If you're not Christian and go then obviously you want to be, so...
I'm sure there's something in the Bible about "thou shalt not profit from the stupidity of others." Ugh. A theme park full of swoop-haired pentecostals and their overweight pre-teens, all standing around trying to Out-Righteous each other. Gaaahhhhhhhh

On the other hand, maybe there's a Parting of the Red Sea ride, with drowning Egyptians and all, or a "Bean Goliath in the Forehead" attraction, where the closer you get to between his eyes, the bigger the prize (Oh! Try for the Slingshot O' Holiness!)
Maybe they'll have Veggie Tales, and you can get a Larry the Cucumber hat.

Y'all have fun

1:45 PM

 
Anonymous Adrienne said...

I think this theme park is nothing more than an homage to The Simpsons episode after Maude Flanders dies and Ned Flanders creates a religious theme park in her memory. Hilarious.

2:48 PM

 

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