Stripes and Plaids.

*** WARNING*** THIS IS A VERY GAY POST *** NOT SEXUALLY *** JUST REALLY GAY *** LIKE SOME OF YOU WOULD NEVER THINK ABOUT THIS STUFF *** CUZ IT'S *** GAY ***

So, I went to the far end of my closet today. I don't normally get there, you know? And I stumble across all these shirts that... are COMPLETELY dated and out of style.

(Once I wore one of them and my ex-roommate was like, "Hey! How's 1999 treatin' ya?"

And the shirts? Plaid and Striped. They're not "Wild n' Crazy" or at all trendy (like the diagonally striped shirts, which are also finished). They're just small-check plaid shirts in greens and reds and blues. And striped shirts. Horizontal and some vertical. One seersucker. Some shiny. Some stretchy. Some batiked and Hawaiian. Some those "Regis Philbin-Colored" shirts that went with same-shade ties.

An I can NEVER wear them again. As of right now. Because, If I wore them, I might as well be wearing a pair of Doc Martens, stone (not acid) washed utility jeans (Abercrombie or American Eagle) a white button-down oxford (Abercrombie) and some form of vest (North Face fleece or Knit) with an Abercrombie fitted. hat.

(You could substitute cargo pants for the jeans.)

It's a completely classic outfit, made up of totally non-offensive clothing, and right now, it would look outdated and very clunky.

I can't bring myself to part with these items, because they're so fucking basic, I refuse to believe they're ACTUALLY out of style. Even though they are.

::sigh::

Maybe it's just Miami? Maybe up North people wear the same clothing I'm rolling my eyes at in my closet, and it's just that I haven't had that stuff in rotation for the last four years, as I moved from the Arctic Tundra to Tropical Hel...Paradise, and by virtue of how long it's been since I've seen anyone wearing it, it's not so outdated?

But I don't think so. When my ex-roommate was like "How's 1999?" it confirmed my fears: That the bulk of the clothing I own (or at least that seems to be taking up a LOT of room in my closet) is outdated and un-wearable.

But as soon as I throw it away, it'll all come BACK in style again!

So. I'll just tote around a closet and a half's worth of clothing that's seen its day come and go...

I will say this, however. After ironing my shirt for tomorrow (we'll see whether it's as overwith as I think it is...)

Upon reflection, yeah. Yeah, all that clothing IS as overwith as I think it is. I'm going to look ridiculous tomorrow. But after ironing that monster with its late 90s fabric technology... I'm done. Materials have come a long way since the days of before "easy-care" fabric.

And that's definitely a good thing.