Lollie is a Jerk.

There's some sort of blog-roll magic that I'm supposed to work here, but I don't have a blog-roll, so I can't make it happen. I'd tag you, but you'd hate me. So, if you want, copy and past this into your blog, and then leave comments here, so people (I) know to look at your Posting.

What were you doing 10 years ago?

What is that, 1997? What was I doing in June, 1997... I must have been a waiter at Ricciuti's; oh. And I think that was also the summer that Sara and I would escape on the weekends to Westminster to stay with Meaghan and her friends who were doing a Summer thing up there at Westminster College. Shit. 1997 wasn't a very memorable year for me.

What were you doing 1 year ago?

Licking my wounds, still, and trying not to talk about Stephen in every breath. I'm better now. Right, guys? Stephen thinks I'm better. You know him and I used to have thoughts about things. Right over there. This one time, we...

Five snacks you enjoy:

1) Entenmann's Brownie Bites;
2) Tortilla Chips and homemade guacamole;
3) Prosciutto di Parma, freshly sliced from Epicure, with Sauvignon Blanc on a Sourdough Baguette, with stinky cheese (shut up.);
4) Cold ziti in meatsauce;
5) Mixed nuts, hold the peanuts.

Five songs that you know all the lyrics to:

1) I know the lyrics to a lot of songs. I don't know. Go away. Leave me alone.

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:

1) How many millions?
2) No, really, how many? Like if I only had a million? That's stupid. You can't do anything with a Million dollars.
3) Fine. I only have a million dollars. Whatever. You're cheap, you know that?
4) Pay off my student loans.
5) Pay off my mortgages, and go on a HUGE drug binge. SKIZZ!

Five bad habits:

1) I gnaw on my nails like they're my only form of sustenance.
2) I hate folding laundry. With a passion. And usually don't.
3) When I'm talking to you on the phone, I'm not really paying attention to you... I'm doing something else... like chores, or surfing the web. FOOLED YA!
4) I overindulge at open bars and events where the liquor flows, to the point where I wake up the next day and pull the sheet over my head.
5) I spend my money on liquor, and not on traveling to see my friends.

Five things you like doing:

1) Drinking.
2) Getting praise.
3) A good job.
4) Making people laugh.
5) Being passive-aggressive.

Five things you would never wear again:

1) Overalls.
That's about it. Even that's negotiable. Oh, there are those of you who will say, "But Bee! During High School you wore Rugby Shirts, Tapered Levis, and Hiking Boots every day! Don't you never wan to wear those again!?" And to you I will say, yeah, well, I don't want to wear those mid-90s Colorblock Givenchy Rugbyshirts as an outfit; they're not exactly stylin' and chic, but some day, I may be hiking somewhere, and wearing that outfit, so screw off, jerkhole.

Five favorite toys:

1) My busted fucking Mercedes (Eat Shit, Maertzl, what's your fucking PROBLEM, anyway? Bill Ussery can't fucking figure it out.)
2) My knives. I cook a lot, so they're like toys. Stabby toys.
3) Your mom's vagina (OOH!)
4) My Wine Opening Device; and
5) My as-yet non-functioning projection screen TV!