I'm a little slow today. I just switched to Sanka. So...have a heart?

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Fun Game!

Here's a fun game! Read this Miami Herald Article, and see if you can find the two passages I find most offensive! If you win... you get the satisfaction of knowing you figured it out!

South Florida, U.S.A.
SOUTH FLORIDA, U.S.A. BY NICHOLAS SPANGLER
The yachts cost millions, but a look at how the other half lives is priceless
By NICHOLAS SPANGLER
nspangler@MiamiHerald.com

Everything's for sale. Mike Busacca, vice president of Platinum Yacht Collection of Allied Richard Bertram Marine Group, said that dockside at Fisher Island, before the Yacht Hop started to jump.

''It's always for sale. Everything's for sale,'' he said. He drank Corazón but turned down the mushroom puffs and wore a blue blazer with his shirt open at the collar, which was the style that night.

At that very moment, Wayne Huizenga's 228-foot yacht Floridian, the color of pearl and resembling a luxury skyscraper knocked on its side, was floating nearby: Mike happened to know it was selling for $70 million.

''There was a time when a 100-foot yacht was a big deal,'' said Sissy DeMaria, Fisher Island's public relations woman, who wore a black pantsuit and drank Grey Goose and cranberry.

Douglas and Linda Von Allmen's 157-foot Lady Linda was about to be christened, and Sissy walked down the floating dock, through a swelling crowd of men in blazers and wives in pantsuits and girlfriends in sundresses.

The dock started to roll under the weight of so many eager feet. To the best of Sissy's recollection, in the 19 years of the Rendezvous, the name given to this long weekend of Yacht Hopping, cocktailing, brunching and auctioning to benefit the Boys and Girls Clubs of Broward County, had anyone ever fallen off?

''I don't think so,'' she said.

Shoes were not permitted on the Lady Linda so Sissy slipped off her Chloes and walked barefoot down cool marble halls outside staterooms and more marble in the his and hers bathrooms. The marble was shot through with gold and it was everywhere.

''Exquisite,'' she said, examining the floor. ``Look at this. Ohhh, my God!''

It was time for the christening, but an Amazonian Australian crew woman blocked the path to the foredeck. ``Are we Mr. and Mrs. Von Allmen's personal guests? No? Unfortunately, only personal guests can go onto the deck.''

It was unfortunate. From the floating dock one hardly saw Linda smash a cloth-wrapped champagne bottle over the Lady Linda's prow, and the fireworks exploding over the radar array were cold comfort.

In front of each yacht, there was a pair of children from the Boys and Girls Club, waiting to take their benefactors' shoes. ''We tell them they're supposed to take their shoes off. Sometimes they don't want to listen to you, and they walk right past. We also tell them that there's food and a bar,'' said Catherine Bedoye, 10.

She and Yalitza Soto, 14, had been bused down from the Marti Huizenga Unit in Hollywood. ''I've never been to a place like this, with all these people of wealth, and all these yachts, and the person our club is named after,'' Yalitza said.

She suspected that the very rich were no different from her: ``They have more money. But they get sad, mad, upset too.''

Not the whole story, said Sissy.

''If you're an unhappy person, you're going to be unhappy no matter what,'' she said. ``But if you're rich, and you're happy, there's no limit to your happiness.''

Over on the Floridian's aft deck, Mike was earnestly thanking the bond magnate John Devaney for the use of his helicopter the other day. John had heard the Floridian was for sale but was happy with his own 142-foot Positive Carry.

The Huizengas were there, too, in blazer and pantsuit. Wayne confirmed that the Floridian is for sale, only because he and his wife have already sailed it three years and he hopes to golf more.

He looked extremely happy, happy to meet all these yacht-hopping adults, happy to raise all this money for the children down below. ``We want them to get a good education so they can contribute, rather than be a drag on society.''

Then Marti tugged his arm, because they had a dinner to go to, and the yacht was turned over to children, who quickly discovered in the media room the secret to true happiness: ``They got a popcorn machine! Oh my gosh!''

8 Comments:

Anonymous vidas said...

Holy fucking shit.

I'm guessing one of the passages is where the author talks about busing in poor kids to take people's shoes for them.

I was offended that so many people were wearing pantsuits at this function.

For whatever reason, I'm getting a flashback to Shelley Long in Troop Beverly Hills. She had some pretty fucking amazing pantsuits in that film. I think I'll watch it now.

7:36 PM

 
Blogger JB said...

"Waiting to take their benefactors' shoes" struck me as awfully arrogant. And that part about how being rich and happy makes happiness limitless. I'm not quite sure I follow the logic of that. But then, I'm not rich and happy, so maybe that's why. (Although I *did* attend the Commodore's Ball at the St. Pete Yacht Club.....aka Prom for Old People, but with Dinner! I did not have to remove my shoes, thankfully).

12:19 AM

 
Blogger SuperBee said...

Both of you have one of them! There's one more that struck a nerve with me... keep fishing! :)

Both of you have half my admiration (who are we kidding. All of it.)

Keep goin' kiddos!

1:57 AM

 
Blogger Rootietoot said...

I thought the whole thing was offensive. Conspicuous consumption grates on me.

The thought occurred about a pre-event conversation "Oh! I know! Lets go get us a couple of pickaninnies from the Boys and Girls club to stand at the door and be grateful!"

so, like...are you saying this is something that actually happened?
Am I leading a very sheltered life here?

12:42 PM

 
Blogger Alex said...

I have always wondered who was the Key Biscayne jackass who owns "Positive Carry", and now I know.

6:11 PM

 
Blogger Jessica said...

Um, hi, the Wayne Huizenga bit?!?!!? :)

6:17 PM

 
Blogger SuperBee said...

Okay. The parts that really offended me were the kids taking the shoes, and the "drag on society" comment.

Classless.

5:04 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What is sad is that I hear the people that own that yacht, linda, have a illigite grandson that they dont help out.

11:16 PM

 

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