Art Basel = I miss my Ex.

It's now that time of year.

For the three prior years, come early December, my life would be a blur of gallery openings, free Fetzer Merlot, Grey Goose, and hanging around jaw-droppingly terrible neighborhoods with fancy Botoxed people, and my interesting artist acquaintences. Oh, and nudity. Lots of nudity. (Not mine. Artistic nudity.)

While this year, I'm going to try to do a little Art Baseling (like the VIP Dinner in the Delano's penthouse that I have yet to pay for...) it's not going to be the same. I've lost my "Julie the Cruise Director."

And few, if any, of my friends are into the whole "Art" thing. And even fewer of them are unattached right now, and available to be my arm candy through bribery.

Earlier in the year, I thought I'd be living on the beach and I'd probably be dating someone by now and I'd probably be able to drag them along. And then the guy I started seeing announced that he was moving to St. Louis to open a winery. So I cut him off, basically, because I couldn't get emotionally attached to someone with an expiration date.

And everyone's attached, or busy, or out of town, and most people I know don't LIKE doing the gallery circuit... So I had no reason to join MAM and get a ticket to the Art Basel Ball... or really try hard for invitations to things... Oh, and I STILL HAVE NOT SOLD MY PLACE.

I guess this weekend is the reason I'm becoming so glum. Because for three years prior, this was one of those amazing weekends where I was constantly booked, constantly drunk, and in awe of my Ex, who knew where interesting things were happening. It was the one time of year that Miami actually had the type of energy, attractions, and crowds I like. Dark, nighttime, wandering through terrible neighborhoods, admiring mechanical art and peoplewatching.

Now I want to avoid it altogether. I don't want to think of other people having fun, getting wasted, and I don't want to be reminded of the little scenester I once was...and of the world that I pretty much fell out of as soon as I broke up.

I am so miserable living in the Gables - I'm so far removed from where everything is happening, and I'm so annoyed that I haven't been able to find a snugglebunny/Personal Assistant yet to take the place of my crappy Ex.

So, that's where I'm at. I'm sulky and petulant because I fucking love Art Basel, and life has gotten in the way of me planning correctly for it. I'm moony and annoyed because I miss being with Steve, even though I used to get FURIOUS with him whenever we'd go to events, because he... was really annoying - like a Boston Terrier on a leash in a room full of fire hydrants.

I miss my Assistant, my Driver, my Crash-Pad, my Planner and my Companion. Mostly, I miss being plugged in. And I could change that, if I so elected, but I'm so far from everything right now... (comparatively) and so busy... Maybe this year is going to have to be a wash as well -- most things were a wash last year...

There's always next year, I suppose... Maybe some day I'll feel like my life isn't on hiatus...