A Little Word-of-Mouth

Here are your two restaurant reviews, peeps:

1) Table 8 - 1458 Collins Ave -

Pricey, snooty, less-than-competent service. Small portions. Automatic 18% gratuity (on everything, don't double-tip the bar bill.) Beautifully decorated, but blue light turns healthy tan people corpselike, or reminiscent of Violet Beauregard during the Blueberry Pie course of her dessert. Wondered what the bar is going to be like in the Muggy Joo-lah weather, as the bar portion is essentially a breezeway, without enclosure. I they'll spend a lot of energy on their a/c bill as it leaks onto Ocean Drive. I recommend bums congregate in front of the Ocean Entrance in front of the Villaggio, for the cool air that will cascade therefrom.

Drinks almost as expensive as the Setai. Food disappointing, verging on craptacular. Outrageously priced and laughably small portions. These opinions confirmed by my dining companions, and others who had eaten there.

Skip Table 8. Maybe have a pre-night drink there, if you can stomach going to Ocean Drive. Otherwise, save your money.

2) Michael's Genuine - 140 N.E. 40th Street - Nicely decorated, great outdoor patio space, friendly, effervescent service, very reasonably priced. Older crowd, but expansive and tasty wine list. (I'm a sucker for Screwtop New Zealand whites.) Interesting menu, with many sizes (Snack, Side, Small, Medium, Large, Extra Large) to choose from, and tempting (looking) options on each front. We had: Falafel with tahini and pickled onions (Not the best falafel ever, minty, but very grassy.) Mixed Olives (can't screw those up) Bread (Lots of choices, deee-lish raisin bread); Shrimp pizza (didn't try, utterly gross according to the reviews at the table) Tuna Nicoise Salad (Didn't try, hate seafood.) Something white that Lauren ate (fishy, didn't try) and a Skirt Steak (Eh. I have no idea what was all around it because it had so much going on, on the plate - fried onion sticks, mushrooms... beet greens? It was edible, but not fantastic.) Thereafter, had, upon the Waiter's recommendation a Smores dessert which was good, but homemade marshmallows a little cloying, and a Praline sort of puddingy...thing...which was good, but like a lead brick in my stomach afterwards.

All in all, Michael's Genuine was a place that we really, really, really, really wanted to like. And we'll really, really, really be back, because maybe after they've been open more than a week, their food won't be so "blah" and "ugh." I'm pulling for this one, I really am.

To end on a positive note, friendly, attentive service, delicious olives, and tasty bread. Good wine list.

There you have it.