I detest driving in Miami. I got in a car accident on Monday (my fault...Oops) which was just embarrassing.
Whatever. I'm still a good driver. Everyone else, down here, however, is HORRIBLE. People drive 35 in the left lane of 95, and 70 mph on a 35 mph road. Idiots.
One of my BIGGEST pet peeves, however, is the "Oops! The light turned red, and I'm still in the intersection, and traffic is gridlocked! Your problem! Why are you honking at me? Fuck you, motherfucker!"
Miami is a city that charges you an arm and a leg to park ANYWHERE. There is virtually no free street parking, and we have to pay to park in our MALLS. Presumably, the metered street parking, and overzealous metermaids are a result of Florida's lack of a state income tax. Tenemos que get the money from somewhere! I hate the meters. I hate the metermaids. But know what I hate most?
GRIDLOCK, WORSENED BY PEOPLE WHO DID NOT STOP AT THE WHITE LINE WHEN CLEARLY TRAFFIC IS BACKED WAY UP AND IS NOT GOING TO MOVE BY THE TIME ThE LIGHT TURNS YELLOW OR RED.
In Maryland and Washington D.C. we have red-light cameras. These mystical devices photograph you as you speed through the intersection of Cedar Lane and Hickory Ridge Road fractions of a second after the light turns red.
Why don't we have "Stopped in the middle of the intersection" cams?! I'm sure even down here in the Third-World that is Miami, we have the technology to strap a few cameras onto our traffic light arms, to photograph the assholes who park themselves in the middle of our intersections after their light has turned red, due to their own stupidity, and unwillingness to wait two extra minutes for the light to cycle red-to-green. God knows our traffic lights are timed so poorly I've never watched a light stay green for more than two minutes. EVER.
Installing cameras that would photograph the license plates of schmucks who didn't stop at the white line in heavy traffic, and fine them, would have at LEAST three benefits, from what I can tell:
1) It would discourage people from cavalierly cruising through a yellow light when traffic is gridlocked, through their actions causing backups in the perpendicular direction.
2) Discouraging people from doing that would facilitate a better flow of traffic throughout the city, because cross streets would not be as congested, as more people could get through every green light.
3) It would raise MILLIONS if not BILLIONS of dollars from stupid people who, though they're probably poor, due to their stupidity and selfishness, don't deserve to keep the $75 dollar fine I have decided that they should owe for sitting in the middle of an intersection, while my light is green.
Who's with me here? Anyone? I think this is a great idea to present to the City of Coral Gables, Coconut Grove, Miami and Miami Beach! Screw Hialeah...those people live there, they deserve what they get.
