I'm a little slow today. I just switched to Sanka. So...have a heart?

Monday, May 23, 2005

These are the days...we remember!

So, I'm sitting here, furiously procrastinating finishing my daily 50 questions for the Bar. It's boring and I hate it, and my brain hurts, and I'm tired of it, so I'm going to write a blog. People always assume that Law School classes are boring and shitty, and for the most part, they are. However, year-to-year, there were things that happened in every class that were hilarious or memorable... So here's mine.. of the things I can remember...or heard about

1L Year --

1) Torts: Professor Graham, cursing about some rule... probably involving balls (testicles) or bananas. Jappy girl raises her hand and starts blathering, stating, "I think, I think, I think!" numerous times. Professor Graham promptly shuts her up with a, "I don't care what you think, and you're wrong. Shut up."

Torts: It's 8:05 in the morning, and Graham has worked himself up into a foaming frenzy about something. I have no idea what he's talking about, but I'm on call and suddenly he calls my name and yells, "WHAT'S THIS LIKE?!" I choke. Because I literally have nothing else to say and I have no idea what he's talking about, of course my mind goes blank, except for a phrase, about... "Wauwatosa Chicken-Salad Mothers," I ask? "YESSSSSSSS! EXACTLY! WAUWATOSA CHICKEN SALAD MOTHERS!" He yells, jumping up and down. Score one, me.

2) Elements: While on call, standing and being subject to Gaubatz's line of questioning, my friend, standing next to where I'm seated, faints. Quiet pandemonium ensues. Way to go, Elements.

3) Property - I say something about a Ming Vase and Gold Doubloons once. Class erupts in laughter...Gold Doubloons follow me for the rest of the year.

Property: 2 Girls are talking about something. Mahoney stops lecture, stares at them, and asks, "Well, what's funny?" They say, "Nothing," in unison. Mahoney stares at them, and says, "NO, REALLY, I WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S FUNNY. I REALLY WANT TO KNOW, AND I'M NOT GOING TO CONTINUE CLASS UNTIL I FIND OUT JUST WHAT'S SO FUNNY." She never found out...but she continued with class.

Property: Jappy girl says something in class, professor cuts her off with an, "Oh, shut up, Miss XXX."

4) Civil Procedure - The only thing I really remember about Civil Procedure was on the last day of class, when I volunteered to answer some bullshit assignment that the prof. had given us. He's soliciting comments, and because he had never seriously shot me down before, and no one else was contributing, I raised my hand and gave an answer. He gets a big smile on his face, and I think, "YESS! I got it!" Nope. "Verrry iiiiiinteresting...not only did you fail to answer the question, fail to answer using the test, and interject your opiiiinion, but you are also wrong. Try again." I didn't try again.

Other classes - things I heard about but never saw: Once a girl who shall remain nameless puked into her backpack in Elements because she was so hungover. She acquired the nickname, "Vomit" for a good long time afterwards.

Once a girl was eating a Subway Sandwich in a class. A professor calls on her to answer a question, she takes a bite of the sub, and chews it as she answers his question. Her professor is aghast and says, "Never in my life have I ever had a student answer one of my questions while eating a sandwich." Girl's nonchalant comment is, "Yeah, well, I'm fat."

Another girl falls asleep in another class, while the professor speaks to her.

This list will continue later, when I am bored and deserve another study break. Notable events include Josh's many and varied outbursts in Robinson's T&E Class, and Oneli's falling asleep while a Federal Judge criticized her trial performance... I'm sure there are other things that will come to me as I do my last 15 Con. Law PMBR questions for today.