I'm a little slow today. I just switched to Sanka. So...have a heart?

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

New Favorite Bum!

Have you noticed there is a proliferation of new bums on Lincoln Road? Maybe "bum" isn't the most p.c. word; maybe I should use another word like "hobo" or "vagabond" or "gutterpup" or "tramp" or "vagrant." Who knows. The point is, there are a whole lot of new bums on Lincoln. And I like that. These are the people in your neighborhood, after all!

The other day, my friend Ashley's Facebook status was that she had been called a "greed bitch" by some homeless guy. Naturally, I thought that was the height of hilarity, and wished I'd get called out by a bum, especially a bum that would call me something entertaining like that. There's something almost artistic about the combination of the words "greedy" and "bitch," especially when yelled by a bum. It's like when you mix Lemon soda and Red Wine. Individually, they're fine. Mix 'em together over ice, and you get something AWESOME!

But I digress.

Wishes DO come true!!!

I was strolling down Lincoln Road, just past Lincoln and Alton, towards Lenox, fiddling with my iPhonepod, trying to get Pandora to get to a better Postal Service song, and I noticed the bum.

Like a good Christian, I put my head down and kept fiddling with my "everything box," and in the gap between songs, just after passing the bum, a grin broke across my face because I heard the phrase, "IGNORANT BASTARD!" being hurled at my back.

I had been accosted by the Profanity Bum.

And it was everything I dreamed it would be. And more.