I'm a little slow today. I just switched to Sanka. So...have a heart?

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Welcome, Tancredo!

Senator Tancredo:

Bienvenidos a Miami! Espero que diviertas mientras que estas aqui! Prueba nuestro cafe - nuestros sandwiches Cubanos! Disfruta nuestro trafica, y envuelvate en las olores de nuestros calles! Quieres una gallina? Hay una en la esquina por alla! Que te pases un buen tiempo viendose las estructuras illegales en Hialeah, y los cuerpos muertos en nuestros rios!

Welcome to Miami, Sir.

(Translation: Welcome to Miami! I hope you have a great time while you're here! Try our coffee, our Cuban Sandwiches! Enjoy our traffic and wrap yourself in the reek of our streets! You want a chicken? There's one on the corner over there! Have a great time seeing the illegal (read: Non-Code Compliant) buildings in Hialeah and the bodies in our rivers!)

He's coming down to see whether his remarks were, "Naive," as "Governor" Bush has tagged them. Jebby just doesn't want to piss off the constituency in Miami if he decides to go for Prez any time soon. Otherwise, Jeb would have wholeheartedly agreed with Tancredo. Thankfully, Jeb is moving to the heart of the Gables a/k/a The Place Where There's No Possible Way To Avoid Traffic, and after he lives here for a stint (besides living on weekends in the building where I live now) I think he'll come to appreciate Vidas' "Three Stages of Living in Miami."

So, Tancredo, c'mon down here. Let 'em prove you wrong! They won't. I rarely agree with conservative republicans... but I'm in your boat on this one.

But you're eating at the Rusty Pelican?! Couldn't the Fat Old White Guys have picked a WASPY establishment that didn't suck so badly? Yeah, it's got nice views of the city, but the food is late '70s awful, and I always leave there with an awful hangover...before my brunch is even over!