Heatin' the home.

Know what's a great way to heat your home, Miami?

Setting your oven to the Clean cycle after you bake a pound cake in it and the poundcake overflows out of your pan, and gets all over the ground, so you have to clean the oven to burn out the last of the cake.

That's a great way to heat your home during a coldsnap.

Because... you know... it makes your house fucking HOT.

Our Weather Advisories are laughable...

South Florida - SEVERE WEATHER ALERT!!!

It's GOING TO GET INTO THE '40S! COMMENCE FREAKING OUT!

From the National Weather Service:

BROWARD METROPOLITAN-EASTERN COLLIER- GLADES-HENDRY-MAINLAND MONROE- MIAMI- DADE METROPOLITAN-PALM BEACH EASTERN- PALM BEACH WESTERN- WESTERN BROWARD- WESTERN COLLIER-WESTERN MIAMI DADE- 408 PM EST SUN NOV 19 2006

...UNSEASONABLY COLD AIR TO AFFECT SOUTH FLORIDA MONDAY NIGHT THROUGH WEDNESDAY...

CONTINENTAL HIGH PRESSURE OVER THE CENTRAL UNITED STATES...AND A DEVELOPING VIGOROUS LOW PRESSURE AREA OVER THE WESTERN ATLANTIC EAST OF THE NORTHERN FLORIDA PENINSULA...WILL COMBINE TO PUMP UNSEASONABLY COLD AIR INTO SOUTH FLORIDA MONDAY NIGHT THROUGH WEDNESDAY. TEMPERATURES ARE EXPECTED TO BE THE COLDEST SINCE LAST FEBRUARY.

TEMPERATURES WHICH ARE ALREADY RUNNING BELOW NORMAL LATE THIS WEEKEND WILL TUMBLE TO AS MUCH AS 15 TO 20 DEGREES BELOW NORMAL TUESDAY AND WEDNESDAY. LOW TEMPERATURES BOTH TUESDAY AND WEDNESDAY MORNINGS WILL RANGE FROM THE UPPER 30S OVER THE INTERIOR SECTIONS SOUTH AND WEST OF LAKE OKEECHOBEE...TO THE MID AND UPPER 40S OVER THE METRO AREAS OF THE ATLANTIC AND GULF COASTS. NORTHWEST WINDS OF 10 TO 15 MPH AWAY FROM THE COASTS AND 15 TO 20 MPH NEAR THE COAST WILL PRODUCE WIND CHILLS RANGING FROM THE LOWER 30S WEST AND SOUTH OF THE LAKE TO THE LOWER 40S OVER THE METRO AREAS.

DESPITE A FAIR AMOUNT OF SUNSHINE... AFTERNOON HIGH TEMPERATURES TUESDAY AND WEDNESDAY WILL NOT FEEL MUCH WARMER...ONLY MAKING IT INTO THE 60S WITH STRONG AND GUSTY NORTHWEST WINDS OF 20 MPH MAKING IT FEEL EVEN COOLER. AFTER ANOTHER CHILLY NIGHT THANKSGIVING EVE...SOUTH FLORIDA WILL FINALLY SEE HIGH TEMPERATURES RISE BACK INTO THE 70S ON THANKSGIVING DAY.

PERSONS SHOULD PLAN ON DRESSING WARMLY THE NEXT FEW MORNINGS AS THESE ARE EXPECTED TO BE THE COLDEST TEMPERATURES TO AFFECT SOUTH FLORIDA SINCE LAST FEBRUARY. CARE SHOULD BE USED WHEN USING SPACE HEATERS...AND THEY SHOULD BE CHECKED TO MAKE SURE THEY ARE WORKING PROPERLY AND NOT CAUSE A ELECTRICAL SHORT WHICH CAN TRIGGER A FIRE. ALTHOUGH FREEZING TEMPERATURES ARE NOT EXPECTED... TEMPERATURES OF 40 DEGREES OR BELOW CAN DAMAGE SENSITIVE PLANTS...AND PROTECTIVE MEASURES MAY NEED TO BE TAKEN TO PROTECT THESE PLANTS.