Craziness...

Geez. Ever since getting back from Key West, I've been so busy... doing nothing. Literally. I'm running around from place to place doing retarded errands. Side note: Everyone please pray that my clutch and my a/c in my car don't go before I get a job that pays high enough for me to buy a new car....

The 'rents come in today. Probably now-ish. Who knows. I've been semi-cleaning, but I don't really care. Dean Hausler's rousing speech today on not letting your parents cheer at graduation really helped liven my spirits and get me excited for this fiasco. I just want to pass the bar so I can put Esq. on every piece of paper I send out and receive. Oh, g-d. Why is it going to take so long? This is going to be the worst summer ever. At least I get to go on the South Beach diet again. Not that I really need it, I'm now officially skinny, and when one can say that about himself, he truly must be self-actualized. Oh, sure I have a love handle here and there, and sure when I scrunch down, I have a pooch, but eh. It's a vast improvement over before...and I think my BMI is finally in the "healthy" range as opposed to on the line between slightly overweight and fine. I love the South Beach diet. It feels so healthy, you lose weight so fast, and you're always eating vegetables. I had more energy on that diet than ever before. Yay, Monday May 16th... at least there will be some good that comes of the worst period of my life...

Have you ever noticed in Miami, when you honk at someone because they've done something stupid, instead of just being like, "Oh, I fucked up," and letting it go, the person will then speed next to you, and honk at you while flipping you off? My new technique is just to preemptively flip the person off as they start speeding up, and not looking at them, because I'm not going to give them the pleasure of having flipped me off. What good is it to flip someone off if they aren't looking, am I right, girls? Better still is my scheme, wherein I just flip them off as I stare straight ahead. Then, not only am I further frustrating them by not acknowledging their insult, but I get 'em with a one-two boo-yeah, flip off myself. Stupid fucks.

Which brings me to my next point. I'm either going to have a P.A. system installed in my car so I can yell at people in their cars, or I'll have laws changed, so that I can shoot people on the road that I don't like. Sorry if I kill your mom or your brother, but they were being a douchebag, and probably honked at me after I honked at them to make sure they weren't going to hit me. Fuckers.

Okay. My matzoh ball soup has probably cooled to eating temperature. Have a merry Friday, and to all of us graduating this weekend - I'm really going to miss you guys that move away... Are you sure you don't want to reconsider staying down here? Oh, sure the job market sucks, the people are assholes, the court systems are inefficient, the traffic is bad, no one speaks English, there's no customer service, or seasons for that matter, and by and large Miami (except for Coral Gables and sections of the Beach and places along Biscayne Boulevard) is the ugliest place this side of Viloystokaiova, Siberia -- but c'mon. Stay. For me?