Miami Corporate R(f)un

Today I ran the Miami Corporate 5K.

And by "ran" I mean "walked."

And by "walked," I mean, my Boss, and me and our receptionist and her boyfriend walked from the starting line, over the Brickell Avenue Bridge, swung a right, and jogged two blocks to Tobacco Road. Where we drank beers and ate nachos. We "finished" at "57.42."

The end.

What can I say? There are two types of people in this world: those that run, and those that do not.

My friends Monica and Meredith, however, finished in 30 minutes! Gold stars! My friends Michelle and Julie bit me on the shoulder while I was "participating." They say they didn't bite me, but it felt like a bite.

Some observations, however, while waiting for the race to start - these were blogged in realtime on my iBerryBlackphone:

1) Genovese Joblove wins for WORST SHIRTS - I wouldn't hire that firm after seeing their heinous Ed-Hardy-Douchebag-Style-Gothic-Writing-Sleeveless messes. Awful.

2) I'm too cool for this. No, really. I am. What the hell am I doing here?

3) Crowds are rough.

4) That guy twisting himself into horrible positions on the ground "stretching" looks like he got hit by a car. Why is he stretching like that?

5) People are warming up a lot for a 3-mile jog.

6) Watching a few hundred people dance is funny.

7) That guy is REALLY into warming up.

8) I shouldn't have worn boxers. I'm going to get crotch rot.

9) I can't believe the Omni garage charged me $22 to park. Ugh.

And that, my friends, is my summation of the Miami 5K. All in all a technical "FAIL," but it was fun...ish.