Oh my god! I totally get it now!

Alcoholism!

I now understand what all the fuss is all about!!

I've mastered coming home, getting tanked, and being functional at work the next day!

It's taken a year, and before this week it was a little rocky...on those days when I'd come home and down 3/4ths of a bottle of wine, I'd feel a little lousy the next day, but now?!

I got it!

I got it nailed!

Oh, I used to distain my ex-boyfriend for his ability to drink alone, and think nothing of it... and I used to never drink alone because I was ashamed...

Until I realized: "Hey! There's no one to see you getting drunk by yourself every day after work!"

And after that epiphany, it was only a matter of getting my liver in condition to come home and drink by myself so there weren't any strong negative side effects the day after.

And we're there!

I can do it! I now feel like a lawyer. I can handle crises at work day-by-day, and I don't outwardly freak out (but my secretary can tell, because she says I get all red-streaky in my face when I'm freaking out internally) and settle (or at least appease said crises) the crisis. Then, I can skip lunch while working, bill till 7:00 when I can't read anymore, run a soul-crushing errand (usually at Dadeland with their cursed Spiral Car Ramp) come home, and drink until I'm happy again!

I've found joy in the bottom of a bottle of cheap white wine! (Red will give you a hangover the next day, or make you feel like you have dirtpoop inside of you and will ruin the rest of your day...)

YAY! Really? It's now that I feel like a lawyer. I can handle shit at work, come home, and drink my stress away. It works for me. And it will continue to work for me until I die of a heart attack at 55.

HURRAH!

It's that time
Christmas time is here
Everybody knows
There's not a better time of year;

Hear that sleigh, Gonna make this holiday
As perfect as can be!
Just wait and see
This Christmas vacation!

This old house
Sure is looking good
Got ourselves the finest snowman
In the neighborhood.

Ain't it fun?
Always on the run
That's how it's done
On Christmas vacation!

Let's all deck the halls
And light the lights
Get a toasty fire
Burning bright.
Give Saint Nick The warmest welcome
That he's ever had -

We're so glad it's Christmas vacation.

And when the nights
Are peaceful and serene
We can cuddle up
And do our Christmas dreamin'.

Peace and joy and love
Are everywhere
You can feel the magic in the air.

Let the spirit of the season
Carry us away
Hip, hip, hooray
For Christmas vacation.



::sigh:: I miss Christmas Vacation. I gotta Netflix that movie.

The Greatest Shame of All.

Wolfie Cohen's Rascal House is closing to make way for a 15 story mixed-use building.

That was the death-knell for Jewish Miami Beach.

I am heartbroken.

This city has no regard for its history.