I'm a little slow today. I just switched to Sanka. So...have a heart?

Monday, January 14, 2008


I know commercials are usually idealized scenarios, but I just saw one for gum that was so beyond the pale I had to write about it, because I was like, "Wow. The world would be AWESOME if it was like that gum ad!"

It's an Extra chewing gum ad, where people chewing gum on the Subway, make music with the chews. Okay, sort of retarded, but it's also like when Peter had his own Theme Music on Family Guy, and it played constantly whereever he went. And I'm not going to lie... sometimes when I'm driving in my car, I pretend that whatever's on is my theme music.

I wish I had theme music, and could crank out a bumpin' song with every chaw.

Now I've shared.

Moving on.

Anyway, these young attractive people, chewing gum on the train make a wild gummy dance party break out. I was jealous of their rubbery-fun-time, and their spearmint-flavored breakdown session.

The second thing that struck me was... how... attractive everyone was. Of course they are, but it's a commercial...

Still, that's what was so beyond the pale of this commercial. It was shocking to me to think of an entire subway full of attractive people. Because here's the thing: not once have I ever been on public transportation with a really hot person on board (that wasn't one of you, my gorgeous/handsome loyal readers)... at least, not that I can remember. So, you know, whenever I'm on public transportation, people must look at me and think, "Holy shit. That's the first really hot guy I've ever seen, riding the train, EVER!" I kid... I kid...

Think about it... well... I mean, not riding the train for long distances. Not once did I have a really attractive person in my car from Silver Spring to Metro Center or Gallery Place or Smithsonian or Roslyn or Foggy Bottom or Woodley Park or Naval Archives or Union Station or Bethesda or Grosvenor or Dupont Circle or New Carrollton orCrystal City or College Park or Fort Totten.

Or University or Government Center or Omni or Vizcaya or Brickell or Coconut Grove...

Attractive people don't ride the subway. They may ride the Marc, but they don't ride the subway.

And that's my thought for the day. Somewhat unfinished, but I'm tired of writing this. The end.