I'm a little slow today. I just switched to Sanka. So...have a heart?

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Andy is a mean jerk.

Andy is a mean jerk that hurts other people's feelings and makes them cry quietly in their offices with their doors closed, and with their air purifiers on, so no one can hear their muffled sobs, caused by his meanness.

Dear Sweet Baby Jesus: Please strike Andy with a bolt of lightning. Don't kill him, Sweet Baby Jesus, just give him a nasty shock. Like when we were kids at the Science Museum, and they used to send that shock through us when we were all holding hands and someone touched the Tessla Generator. Yes. Please give Andy a nasty shock like that, to teach him the error of his ways, and make him stop being mean to people. And thereafter, whenever he feels like being mean to people, he'll remember the nasty shock that he got, and will wet his pants and cry just like that kid in that one Nick Nolte movie, and Sweet Baby Jesus, please make him be in a public place when that happens, far, far away from a change of pants, so he has to walk around with pee-pants all day. And please make everyone point and laugh at Andy for having peed in his pants, making him cry even harder, and flee from their presence, helicoptering his arms, so that people get out of his way and causing a scene, while leaving a damp puddle behind him, and people rolling on the ground with laughter at him, because, you know, he peed in his pants, because he was mean.

And also, Sweet Baby Jesus/God, you weren't bored reading my last post, were you?

I didn't think so.