I hate those Yoplait girls...

What yutz in the Yoplait Yogurt advertising department decided that two annoying girls, one of whom of amorphous racial pedigree, swooning over Yogurt at every chance, was a good idea?

He's fired.

I. Hate. The. Yoplait. Girl. The black girl, I have no problems with her...besides her poor taste in friends. I detest that other girl. You know the one... I can't tell whether she's white, or Asian, or a mix of both, or Native American...

I mean... first off...what is she?! And yes, for some reason, the fact that I can't figure it out, makes her race important to me... If she weren't so goddamn annoying, it wouldn't matter to me. But she is, so it does.

Oh my god! I just realized, I think they may be lesbian lovers! Yes. They're Yogurt Lesbians...

I really hate the commercial where they're sitting around after a wedding, making themselves feel better that they haven't gotten married yet, by eating Yogurt. Ugh. Know why you guys aren't gonna get married any time soon? Because you've got milk breath and yogurt farts, and guys don't find that attractive. Girls probably don't find that attractive either.

And they just sit there, either on a swing after a wedding, or in their jammies on a lazy Sunday, wolfing down yogurt, and waxing poetic about how good it is... all the while giving us a little insight on their empty, sad little lives. When Yogurt has taken the place of sex in your life, it's time to buy three cats and start knitting tea kettle cozies and clipping "Cathy" comics.

Ugh. And they're basically deep throating the spoon, giving it the best head of its life, so they can get every molecule of yogurty goodness off of it... Bleah. And taking really little bites of Yogurt to make it last... it's just maddening.

Guys, we get it. You think your yogurt is "so good." And maybe it is... but really, I mean there are like what? Four types of Yogurt, right? Yoplait, Dannon, Stony Brook Farms or whatever, and lastly... that kind...that I can't remember right now because I have a vicious hangover.

Oh fuck this post. I wanted it to be much better, but clearly I'm in no condition to write, so another day I'll tackle the important topic of why I hate the Yoplait Yogurt Lesbians...