Be it known:

I took some online whatchamacallit on my insurance company's "Mental Health" page, and apparently I suffer from "Severe Anxiety."

Now I'm even more anxious.

Then I tried to call the insurance's company's number to get approved to go see a shrink and get me on some crazypills, and I was informed that they're closed, even though they boast everywhere about 24/7 service.

My arse.

That was like a totally counterproductive experience. I always thought my anxiety was just "slightly above average," but I guess slightly-above-average anxious people aren't basically vibrating all the time. And they probably sleep more than 5 hours a night.

At least some nights.

I know my anxiety is entirely related to my job. So, in the meantime, I'm just gonna do the best I can, and keep repeating the mantra, "I'm not gonna get fired. I'm not gonna get fired."

I mean, after all, at the end of the day, I'm just trying to fix other people's problems. Not my problems. So how come their problems have become MY problems?

::sigh::

I'm not going to get fired. I can do this. I'm not going to get fired. I can do this.

And you know what?

Being fired would be the best thing that could happen to me.

So maybe that's the source of my anxiety -- that I don't see that happening.

At least if I got fired, I'd have some time to go find a job that wasn't sucking the life out of me. I'd collect unemployment, try to keep my credit cards paid, and probably pack my shit up and U-Haul it back to Maryland - if nothing else for some "regroup" time.

So, I guess the lesson here is if you think you're suffering from moderate anxiety, you're a full-blown basketcase. And if you're a full-blown basketcase, you can only find a shrink to go to between 8-5 Monday - Friday.