I'm a little slow today. I just switched to Sanka. So...have a heart?

Tuesday, May 02, 2006



I can't go out on the beach to do ANYTHING without running into one of Stephen's friends. Which is awkward.

Very awkward.

Last time, I just ran. I was too baked to talk to anyone, let alone make awkward conversation with some of Stephen's friends who I was convinced hated me... Carolina and I were going to see a movie, and one thing lead to another, and let's just say we were the only people guffawing at Friends with Money. But no matter... I ran.

Tonight my friend Nicole and I went to Rancho whatever, with the mediocre Mexican food off Lincoln Road. Who sits down at the table next to us? Stephen's friend Casey. Casey is a very, very pretty Wisconsinite who went to UW also. Tonight his skin looked absolutely amazing... like Christian Bale's in American Psycho. He's very nice, and I liked him a lot when I was with Stephen. He's just a great guy... at least from what I saw of him, he always was.

And it was very very awkward. We had an awkward hug... exchanged some awkward conversation, and finished dinner.

And then he left and didn't say goodbye. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but that was sort of weird.

Maybe he didn't want to do the whole "see you around!" thing, maybe I was engrossed in conversation and missed him trying to catch my eye... Or maybe he was just being a rude asshole who didn't have to say goodbye to me, now that I'm not with his friend anymore. But I hope that's not the case.

Whatever. It just sucks, because I mean, I still talk to Stephen (even though I shouldn't, but I don't want to lose him forever).

But all of his friends are super fabulous. And I don't have super fabulous gay friends. And I don't know how to make any, because I don't get along with the gays. I used to be quick and witty, but I'm not that quick and witty anymore... because... I'm a boring lawyer.

Meh. And I also have no attention span.

Bottom line? It was awkward seeing Stephen's friends. If I move to the beach, I will see them all the time. I will also have to run into Stephen...I'm semi-hoping he gets his shit together and MOVES AWAY so I can move to the beach without having to run into him...

I try not to be akward. These are nice people that I admire and like...

too bad they're not my friends, and my link to them is broken...