A little help.

On Miami Beach, we have a hotel/bar called the "Delano." You wouldn't think it would be so hard to pronounce, no? Six letters? Three syllables?

Ugh.

People repeatedly put the wrong emphasis on the wrong syllable. Regardless of whether it's the middle or the end. People from LA are the worst offenders.

So here's a Public Service to everyone visiting Miami Beach. This should help you all not sound like such assholes.

Delano is pronounced like you would think it's pronounced; like the Middle name of one of our Greatest Presidents. You don't call him Franklin deLAno Roosevelt, do you? No. He's Franklin DElano Roosevelt.

I think we can ALL agree that he's not Franklin delaNO Roosevelt. Right?

Okay. Just making sure we're all on the same page.

Now look. Maybe in the I-Talian language, the accent goes on the middle syllable of the word. I have no idea. I only speak Spanish and English. Poorly. And furthermore, I don't really care. I could give two shits as to the proper pronounciation. We're in America. Pronounce it like you're there, kay? This word is pronounced DElano, with less emphasis on each subsequent Syllable. It should read like this: DElano.

And for you who may be confused, it's pronounced deh-la-no. Don't call it the Deelano.

No one will know where you're trying to go, and you won't get past the rope.

This message has been brought to you by one who is dumbfounded by the various ways people butcher the simplest words.

Daily Celebrity Encounter

The "bad kid" from Desperate Housewives; the whore's nephew...what's her name? Dee-Dee? Ci-Ci? Jeannine? Cecily? Cecily Tyson?

Whatever. Unimportant.

Nicole Sheridan's character, how's that?

Anywizzle - her "badass" newphew that's been living with her, and fucked both Julie (Hatcher) and Ugly (van de Kamp) walked past me today at Lincoln and Washington. We made eye-contact. He may or may not have checked me out.

I'll err on the side of "not" because I was dressed in rather plebian boring preppy wear.

Nevertheless. We had a moment. I locked eyes with him and probably had some sort of "who are you from my past that I know?" look on my face, before realizing that he was on TV.

The end.