I'm a little slow today. I just switched to Sanka. So...have a heart?

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Dear Verne Troyer:

Dear Verne Troyer:


That new Geico Commercial you're in - it's officially time to retire from the spotlight.

I'm embarassed for you. Between that and your Surreal Life antics...

You make me nauseous and leave me with a bad taste in my mouth.

You were great as Mini-me. And you had your fifteen minutes. But it's like four hours and thirty eight minutes later. You gotta get going. Do it now, while it's still somewhat graceful.



Who's with me here?

Okay. I know I'm harping on the subject, but I'm strangely distressed by it.

I've had the conversation with many people. And I'm just going to speak for "the group."

We're all very upset that Steve Irwin died.

Everyone is.

I can say that the Television watching WORLD is upset that Steve Irwin died. Among those that watch TV and have seen Steve Irwin's shows and know who he is, you (and I) are all upset that Steve Irwin died.

It's not like when Red Buttons died. Those of us who heard (and it registered, even...) were like, "Oh, but he was so old...I mean, the last thing he was in was that episode of ER when he played Mr. Rubadoux and Noah Wylie made Mrs. Rubadoux die, and Mr. Rubadoux freaked out, and was crying and yelling, after having been such a nice old man... Wait. What? Shit! He died on July 13, 2006?! I thought he died years ago!!!"

But this was Steve Irwin! He was young! And invincivble! I mean, how many POISONOUS SNAKES had he held and no biting! And then he floats over a STINGRAY!? and DIES?!


I miss you, Steve Irwin! I guess, you, too, Red Buttons...